A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:i met this guy about a month ago, we started off, attracted to each other. We kiss and touch but, no sex. I decided it was too soon. He is a perfect gentleman, opens doors and the like. However lately he doesn't call, and he does not want to come over.He wants us to start off as friends but he would not come over. What should i do? I would like to spend more time with him, to see if i would like to possibly date him. If i'm in a jam he would help if he can, we always talk on messenger, but he only calls when he has something important to say. Everytime i call, he answers his phone. I need help because he's one of those good guys and i would like to snag him. Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, DrPsych  +, writes (25 February 2007):
 You cannot snag him as planning and plotting is not going to make a difference. If he likes you then he will knock your door down and if he is indifferent then maybe he is not that into you - that doesn't have to be a bad thing; you should think that you deserve someone to treat you with respect and interest. By all means call him from time to time, and maybe arrange to go out for a drink, but don't invite him over as he may think that means sex no strings.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 February 2007): I wouldn't be asking him over to your place if I were you, especially if you do not want it to lead to sex. Instead try not calling him frequently or messaging him, but the next time you call, nail a date and time to get together for a fun activity, and offer to pay if you asked him out.
This is how you build a relationship basaed on friendship, be his friend, listen intently to what he says to you and reflect back what he said in your own words. This will make him feel cared for and that you understand him, he will become dependent on you for this kind of attention.
Always demand his respect, and if you don't act like you are completely won over by him, his passion for you will most likely grow over time.
Let him do most of the calling, if you don't message him so much, he will be more likely to call you to see what you have been up to. Let him ask you out most of the time as well, and if he doesn't call or ask, then he may not be that interested so it is always best to see other people if you want to do so.
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