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LAdies, why does this girl walk in and out of my life and hurt me all the time?

Tagged as: Breaking up, Dating<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (12 November 2006) 5 Answers - (Newest, 16 November 2006)
A male , anonymous writes:

ladies please help i need your advice. Well here it goes I was with my ex for about a year when she broke up with me. It hurt more then anything in the world because i loved her. After about 2 months of no contact she called me out of the blue one morning and we meet up and slept together for about a couple of weeks of being together and doing gf and bf things together she distanced herself from me the we got to the point where she just stopped calling me. About a month later she popped out again calling me and wanting to meet up telling me that we were meant to be married and that I'm a good guy she even came back to meet my parents at there place we hung out with my friends everything was so good when all of a sudden she just stopped calling me again. I don't know what to do anymore I'm so good to her I do everything for her when i'm with her nothing else matters. She is the most beautiful thing in the whole world where's I'm not that pretty to look at. She can have any guy she wants. Why does she walk in and out of my life and hurt me all the time. I don't know what to do anymore I don't have much of my heart left to carry on no more but i care 4 her so much someone help. Is it because of the way i look I'm overweight but whatever i don't have in looks i make up in love help please

View related questions: broke up, my ex, overweight

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A reader, anonymous, writes (16 November 2006):

You need a subscription to MENS HEALTH magazine. You will find great ways to become a healthy man. first thing is to lose weight and get built. eat 3 of the same quick health foods every day for 3 months and you will see a difference. YOU live the life you make for yourself. If you dont like it change it. If you dont change it dont complain. Women want healthy guys and the woman your messing with is not healthy shes easy. She is using you when its convenient. Life is a game and people dont accept you for who you are. No thats not right. They do accept you, but the people you want wont accept you and you will be eating the healthy guys table scraps. Women want confidence in a man. do research like on this site. Find out what women want and need. YOUr case here shows me who not to look for in a woman. Another guys post also shows me. Girls show me what they think of men. All this data will equal what is healthy and what is not. Im not going to say good luck to you my friend. What you want is at the fingertips of your habits and choices. Luck comes to those who are prepared physically, mentally and intellectually. You are being taken for a hayride by this girl. FIX it

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (13 November 2006):

Today's afterschool special: "A condom cant protect your heart".

Here are the bullets:

- Looking back was it worth getting laid to feel as low as you do now?

- Since you two got back together and you are in her orbit, you have spent no time looking for a real girl friend. If you decided to blow off her booty call you could be in a real relationship

- Everything would make sense if you could see her timeline: she goes to her sisters wedding and it's "oh, I have to call my little Warren and show my parents", then her friends find a new salsa place and slut it up there for a couple of weeks and your arent cool enough; then Enrique bangs her and never calls and she says "I'll call my Warren".

- nobody wants a free newspaper and nobody will take a free car. If you dont think you have value, why should anyone else?

- Your value as a person does not depend on your BMI.

To sum up- there really is no reason for you to have contact with her. You know how it will end and it ties up your time from finding someone else. And you need to work on your self worth or you will end up in this situatin again.

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A male reader, Lostandalone United States +, writes (13 November 2006):

Lostandalone agony auntOnce again I agree with rhythmandblues2. STOP GOING, STOP ANSWERING THE PHONE AND STOP BEING HER FALL BACK GUY!!!! She will continue to do this as long as you let her and your self-esteem will allow it. Have a backbone and tell her to GO TO HELL!!! You don't deserve this treatment, hell no one does.

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A female reader, gustavia Colombia +, writes (13 November 2006):

Ok, first of all, you need to get this girl out of your system. avoid her, ignore her phonecalls, when you see her on the street, smile politely and walk on by, then turn around and flip her off. she's a user, she's a player, and she's jerking you around (i hate when this happens) and you need to grow a pair! don't let her into your life, again. she's not the only female out there; go out with your friends/family.

take all that energy you're wasting on thinking about her, and focus on using it to better your self-esteem. go to a gym, or take up a sport, if you feel your image is keeping you from being happy, get up and move, meet some new ladies. share your love with someone that will appreciate all you have to offer.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (13 November 2006):

Why does she walk in and out of your life and hurt you? Because you let her. Stop acting so available and eager to take her back, and stop putting yourself down for being overweight, do something about the weight problem instead for your own physical and mental health, not in order to get her back, because when it does not work, you will be dissappointed and lose motivation to stick with your diet and excercise program.

Date some other girls and let her know you are dating, sounds to me like she takes you for granted ank knows on some level that you are waiting to take her back when she feels like being around you, her passion will not grow for you if you let her continue to treat you this way, let her know you are worth fighting for by being more self confident, harder to get access to, and making friends with other women and staying busy achieving your own goals.

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