A
male
age
36-40,
*ranklinmike54
writes:I met this girl while on vacation 10months ago. She lives in Colorado and I live in Florida. We hit it off and had a great time. We have spoken everyday since we met. She has visited me twice since I have met her even though she has never flown on a plane before. I know she likes me but she also told me she has feelings for her aunt's brother. Her aunt was married into the family so they are not "blood" related according to her. However, I find this very strange/odd/not normal because to me thats still a relative. she has hooked up with him in the past. I have talked to my friends and family about this and they think its very weird too. I guess I was glad she was honest with me?!She said she has feelings for both him and I... I know its tough because im in another state and we've never really had an actual relationship because were from different states so its hard to build a relationship over the phone which is understandable but she still keeps calling me everyday and i dont understand why if she has feelings for her aunts brother! she's nice and I care about her but the whole aunt's brother situation I feel is wrong and weird and I cant let it go and dont' think I will ever let it go. After I said it wouldnt work out, she kept calling me to say hi or ask a random question. I told her nicely again to go and be with him since he is from the same and she has feelings for him. I said I dont want to talk to you everyday if you have feelings for me and another guy. I said it wont work out ever yet she still calls. any advice? to add to this, when she first visited back in september a few weeks after i met her, she wanted me to move out to colorado and live with her and i thought that was moving kind of fast, and it raised a red flag. I do like when she calls but i dont want to talk to her when her feelings are mixed. am i making sense? its not normal to hook up with ur aunts brother even if ur not blood related right?! Theres so much against me. The distance, another man that comes and goes and all these red flags and I still think about her. NONE of my friends and family think shes normal and they all feel shes not for me. I dont know if she really has feelings for both of us or if shes just saying that. But i just think that if she had money issues, why would she drop $300 on a plane ticket twice just to see me for a couple days. What would you do? Thank you for reading.
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female
reader, Quacked  +, writes (22 July 2009):
 I'd would stick to your guns and stop this "relationship" in it's tracks. As you have said there are red flags and very worrying behaviour.
Asking you to move to Colorado to be with her after a few weeks is very fast. Feelings for a relative is disturbing - a relative is a relative, blood or not. And the fact that she likes you both means as you say that it will not work.
She seems naive, immature and you are right in making her choose before you pursue any kind of relationship with her. If it were me i'd stress the point to her again (don't want to speak to you everyday if you have feelings for someone else) and then hang up everytime she called. It just seems like an intense relationship for so short a time frame, there are many obstacles to overcome and with the confusing information it doesn't seem stable from the outset.
Have a friendship if you want her in your life and if you can do this, if not run a mile. Your family and friends are right - something doesn't add up.
Hope this helped,
Yours,
Quacked
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