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Just found out that he's been with a man! Putting up with his flirting with women is one thing, but men aswell!!! please help!!

Tagged as: Big Questions, Dating, Troubled relationships, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (3 April 2007) 2 Answers - (Newest, 5 April 2007)
A female United Kingdom age 36-40, anonymous writes:

ive been with my boyfriend for 3yrs with a breif break over xmas 2005. i knew he was seeing another girl and i was seeing another guy. we soon got back togther and its been going great since then. ive now just found out that he has also slept with a bloke. i knew he had curiosities about being with a man, we have spoken about them a few times. im hurt that he's hept it from me for over a year and i dont know what to do. i still love him and wanna be with him but its hard enuf when he flirts with women harmlessly now ive got to put up with him doing it with men. i suffer from low self esteem anyway and i know this won't help. he says he wants to be with me and loves me and that while he is with me he is just with me but i dunno how to appraoch anything with him now

pls help

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A reader, anonymous, writes (5 April 2007):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

i am distraught by the news because at the moment i constantly see him with another man and its driving me crazy. he did it while we were on the break (no its not like ross and rachael). im not shocked by it i am hurt that it took him so long to tell me but i understand it must of been hard for him. im not sure if im enough for him now he constantly asks me to buy a strap on and i don't want to its not me i am female and thats it. i feel the only way to keep him is to do these things though and i really don't want to yet i don't want to loose him. he says i'm enough for him but if thats true y wud he send me the following text while i'm at work... 'i no deep down you can't stand me for what i've done and i would do it again with a million more' to me that sounds like i'm not enough for him and never will be yet i don't wanne have a 3somes (that will unlock many more issues for me) or buy sex toys like strap ons i want him to be happy with me but after that text i'm not sure if i can be

i don't want to loose him but i'm very confused

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (3 April 2007):

He's a bi-sexual. If you can't put up with the fact that he slept with a man (was he cheating on you with him or was it whilst in the break) then leave him. The last thing you need is his flirting with both women and men putting you down and making your low self-esteem even worse. Best option for you to do is to leave him.

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