A
male
age
41-50,
WizardOfWaz
writes:Day one.I first meet Julie in our city’s hospital for sick kids. “I’m nine and I've got leukaemia!”, she says by way of enthusiastic introduction. I accept the challenge and deliver unto her the most perfect counter-blow of human sufferance; “I’m 32 and just got divorced!” Oh..” she replies with a long-suffering sigh of relief that I can immediately emphasise with. She says “Everyone else always keeps saying, ‘ ‘Oh I am so sorry!’. Snap kiddo. We both agree that people are really very boring saying the same “sorry” stuff over and over again when life sucks for us. I explain to her the meaning of “clichés” and she grasps the concept immediately. This could be the start of a beautiful friendship. And so it proved as Julie told me of her little “secrets” in particular what she wanted. But I already knew. Julie wanted to go to Disneyland. That could be arranged, Nurse Irish told me that kiddo, but she also told me that it was too late, you’re too far gone with that leukaemia shit. Now how do I explain that to you my wee princess? “Are you daft are what?” I began, “We got loads of real castles and stuff right here in Scotland and you wanna swan off to Disneyland to see a plastic version of your own country? “ I waffle on about how our castles, our rivers, our mountains, our glens, our history, our science, our education system,how it all flows through all our veins. Young or old Julie, the hearts of olden glory beat on and on. Even our farts are superior to any cartoon imitations of real culture. She falls asleep at some point. I leave.Day two. Hey Julie yer looking daft as per usual. She says shoosh you and then all serious-like whispers “I’m going to marry Dr Mac”. Oh aye, and why him and not me, I asks, trying to disguise the chauvinistic jealously crawling all over me like a rash inspired with religion. Nurse Phillipana is there, and makes a noise that sounds suspiciously like a giggle hastily converted into a cough. Doctor Mac comes in. Well fit looking bloke. I says to Julie that tis only a mask and underneath he is really a hobbit. Julie tells me that hobbits are quite cute actually and anyway what do I care as I’m marrying Nurse Irish. She is quite firm on this point and insists that when she heard Nurse Irish say to other nurses last night that you made her laugh it really means she loves you and that you have to marry her.Day three.Stuff to do. 9am appointment with manageress of Mothercare Shop. She is sympathetic with the concept of fund-raising for Julie. But Fire Brigade Safety booked for her store same day. Also we have torrential rain. At 11am I decide to pack it in. Tell manageress not to worry that we didn’t get much funds, and by the way you got lovely eyes. She grabs a Babar the Elephant stuffed toy from shelf, take this to Julie with my love she said. And looks at me and I look at her like we the only two people that ever existed. But I gotta go.Car is being a bitch. Why am I getting angry about it . Get public transport to hospital , clean, efficient, reliable and not too bothered about the patrons grinning their arses off at this big fella clutching stuffed toy. Julie here I come! Doctor Mac where’s YOUR cuddly stuffed elephant eh?Can feel the chill as soon as I enter the hospital, it is the staff that are creeping me out, forming an emotional cold circle around the real warmth of patients and visitors. When I get to Julies ward, Nurse Irish, the efficient humorous controller, avoids looking at me. Suddenly there is a firm grasp on my arm. Nurse Philipina. “She died 11am this morning”. I say “What?”. She is now grasping both my arms and saying “Please, you have to understand, Julie died at 11am this morning.”I finally understand and leave.Over 15 years on I still have that Babar the Elephant Toy. But I call her Julie.Waz[Dedication]This one is for all the staff, volunteers and benefactors to the Royal Hospital for Sick Children, Glasgow, Scotland.
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female
reader, Scroggins32  +, writes (26 June 2008):
Oh God, that's really beautiful.
Thank you so much for sharing that with us. Hopefully you can have peace in your life.
Great post.
A
female
reader, BigSis + ♥, writes (19 June 2008):
 I've only just stumbled across this article, and, oh my God....dear Wiz, under that pretty frock you have to disguise your tough Scottishness, you really are a big softie aren't you? There can't be that many guys like you out there.
One thing you must know, and I'm 100% certain, your little angel, Julie went quietly albeit with a sweet smile ~ knowing she was in your loving thoughts, you must have given her peace in her final moments.
Her timing was right, for she'd left YOU with the gift that was meant to be for her, so that you can hold on to her memory for always, which you have, and you've shared it with us, now we shall all remember her.
I'm wiping a tear from my eye as I'm writing this, just imagining how you must have felt the moment they told you she'd passed away, imagining you clasping that cuddly stuffed toy.
Thank you for that, Allan.
Niki xXx
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female
reader, Tisha-1 + ♥, writes (18 June 2008):
 Dammit, Waz, I just reread your story about Julie, hoping against all logic that there would be a happy ending this time. Oh, why are my eyes suddenly tearing up again?
Your 'babbling on' reminds us of what is truly important in life. Caring, being there for someone else, even if you put them to sleep... Doing what you can, even if the weather and the car mechanics and the rest of the universe seem to be working against you.
So carry on, my friend. There's no need to explain away a stuffed animal. I've got one from a dear friend who is now gone, an Opus (the penguin) and I will never ever part with him.
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male
reader, WizardOfWaz + ♥, writes (18 June 2008):
WizardOfWaz is verified as being by the original poster of the question Thanks to all for the feedback. It is very reasuring to know that most folks not only understand why a mature guy has a stuffed toy on his bed but also can see why it has been so difficuilt to explain to folks out here in Real Life why it is there.
15 years on finally got the chance to babble on about it.
Thanks to Dear Cupid.
Regards
Allan
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female
reader, sofiamorgan +, writes (10 June 2008):
 Waz, that was beautful yet heartbreaking, such a touching story...I've got tears in my eyes.
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male
reader, jay12toes +, writes (10 June 2008):
 they say a man shouldnt cry but...... "snif"
it was really good. thank you for shareing it.
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female
reader, bubbloo24  + ♥, writes (6 June 2008):
 Utmost respect for you Waz, this story really touched me.
Thank you for sharing it with us.
Jenny
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female
reader, pepper27 + ♥, writes (5 June 2008):
 That was a sad but heartwarming story, The most special times in my life were sitting with my patients when they had very little time left..Talking with them and learning so much from there bravery..This must have made you so much stronger hunny, I no in my life for every person I have been with that has past there is a wonderful story to be told, Although such very sad times, Also a deeper understanding of life. Much love to you xx
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female
reader, KTP +, writes (4 June 2008):
Beautiful.
It made me cry.
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female
reader, PurplePayne +, writes (3 June 2008):
Such a touching story. So sad, but happy at the same time, it seems you both brought each other a great deal of joy and i bet she'd be pleased to know you haven't forgotten her. It's all too common that people in hospitals are left to deal with their illnesses alone so I'd like to thank you for going the extra mile to make her last time with us happier. I only wish more people were like you.
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female
reader, angelapembroke +, writes (2 June 2008):
Your a very special person to have given that little girl some magic. Your a sta.
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female
reader, Tisha-1 + ♥, writes (2 June 2008):
I'm speechless, deeply touched by your story, Waz.
It brings to mind for me a little girl, she was 11, but looked like she was 6 years old. She'd had kidney failure, and it was discovered while her family was being tested as potential donors that her father was also her grandfather. She suffered so much while growing up, she endured dialysis and countless procedures to help her maintain her health and her life. My job was to draw her blood and I broke every rule in the book when I allowed her to put the needle into her own arm. But daggone it, it was her sheer bravery and determination that awed me, and her fighting spirit. She coped with things and faced them with enormous bravery. I lost touch with her years ago, when I moved away, but I thought of her again today when I read this article. So here's thinking of you kid.
All the best.
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male
reader, bobbay123 +, writes (2 June 2008):
Waz, that's a touching story. Well read too.Life's a bitch, isn't it just?I think it's always the wonderful people who don't deserve it that always get the worst life and leave us much too soon.I lost a friend through a brain tumour. God bless her. Eventually the cancer spread down her spine and she was paralised. She fought like a warrior though.I know she's in heaven because she had a heart of gold.God bless us all. =]
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female
reader, Annalisa +, writes (2 June 2008):
 It's so hard not to ask yourself "why?" sometimes... Wanderful people have left my life too soon, whether it was through child-birth, AIDS or just an accident.
The truth is that we all have our journey to eternity and it just takes some of us longer to be ready!
It's just painful to see others go, because they miss out on so much life on Earth, but they're the lucky ones, not sticking around long enough to loose faith in the world and the spirit. If there's one thing I've learnt from lost relatives and friends is that what counts is the love we give them every day and that we always pray for their souls.
Here's very little from me, but I send you a warm hug, Wiz!
God bless you!
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female
reader, Emivia  + ♥, writes (31 May 2008):
 That's a heart breaker.
You've made my eyes water.
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female
reader, DiovanLestat +, writes (31 May 2008):
 Oh Waz.... your just too wicked. I think your story has just melted my heart...... (grabs tissue and drys tears)
Reminds me of a friend I got. She had to have a complete DNA transfusion because of the lukemia. Her hair fell out, her teeth fell out and they had to replace her hips when the bones crumbled away. Still the sexiest thing I've ever seen on two legs. Always pulled the best looking guys, said the hips never bothered her cause the men were looking at her great legs and boobs.
Anyway because of the Lukemia, they said she could never have kids, they also thought she'd be dead by now. Her mother was my mums best friend. One day, her mum got run down by a motorbike. Out of the blue, accident they said. I lost one of my best friends, she lost her mother. But guess what....... Yep, she got pregnant the same week her mother died. Got a beautiful Irish two year old, spitting image of her redheaded granny. Damn I got to give her a call and see how she is.
Thanks Waz for the tears and for the good memories. Great post.
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