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anonymous
writes: Hi there, I seem to being having a problem with the green eyed monster. My partner is over indulging himself with interner porn. We hardly have sex, and when we do why does it feel as if he getting me to portray one of those sluts off the web pages.Ok I understand that all men need to mastrabate but my partner is making me feel so unfortable, especially when he leaves evidence laying around, when he thinks that I don't know what he is doing. The other day I caught him with his pants down at the computer, we had a full blown agruement which I have to say we still haven't recovered from. My say is that I might of handled it wrong but he did it in a sneaky manner he had a quick wank while I went upstairs, I can't remeber what I went up for, but he obviously thought it would long enough. What do I do?
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reader, pzeller +, writes (30 December 2005):
 First of all, if he got embarrased at being caught, he may have expressed embarrassment as anger (typical for a man).
Secondly, no, a man doesn't have to masturbate, he chooses to. Talk with him about it (non-confrontationally). Explain to him that although he's not physically cheating on you by doing this, it hurts you emotionally.
By being non-confrontational, this may force him to focus on YOUR feelings rather than his own. You will likely get farther by letting him know you are hurt by this, then by letting him know you are angry about this (granted, I don't know this man).
If he insists on masturbating, offer to have your own sexy pics taken for him. Even take them of each other. You may find a compromise position which allows him to do what he's doing in a way that doesn't hurt you.
If he wants to masturbate, fine.
P.S. Even if he may be watching porn for simple visual stimulation, he just might be thinking about you in his mind.
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