A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Dear Cupid,I was in a serious relationship with an amazing guy I dearly loved,and still love.However,my repeated insecurities and jealousy kind of killed it. i promised so many times that i would change,but i failed.we were fighting over the most trivial reasons, mostly about his female friends and online posts.He told me the last fight that we were done and he meant it this time.It didnt matter how much I begged he was over it.My best friend tried to help and so did my mom,but it was hopeless.Recently, we started talking again as friends only and its been good,he even said the Casillas kissing his gf at the world cup reminded him of our first kiss.I took the oportunity to ask him if he could give me one last chance,he said not right now he still needs time to trust me again cuz i hurt him badly.He also assured me no other girl is in his life,but he doesnt love me the same way.I told him to take his time and he will realize that i am a different person and i will win his heart back.We have been through so much together and I do believe it wont be long till he is back with me. There is this 19 year old girl,lets call her mandy (not her real name) who obviously has a crush on him.He sees her like a little sister,and I know thats true cuz she's not his cup of tea mentally and physically.He informed her about me but her constant flirting with him online didnt stop.She would post things on facebook to piss me off and we would eventually fight over it.My bf didnt think it as flirting and he said that he doesnt care what she feels,she knows that he loves me and thats all that matters. well,yesterday my best friend,lets call her Jenny (not her real name) told me that she has been reading mandy's tweets and saw something disturbing.Mandy was telling some friend that she loves s guy with blue eyes whose star sign is a scorpio(my bf %100) and that she is taking it slow but he has told her he loves her. Jenny told me to tell my bf,I told her but we're just friends now i dont want to ruin things and I dont believe it at all cuz i asked him and he made it clear that although we are on hiatus, he isnt thinking of anyone else.jenny told me then he deserves to know that his innocent little friend is living in a big illusion and spreading rumors about him. i did tell him,and he was upset. he told me to send him the whole conversation to read,and he said he didnt care what Mandy was saying and it is not true he has no feelings for her at all.He also said he would confront her and if she did mean him,he would cut her off completely. My question here is,im guessing this incident will have a negative effect on our progress in getting back together.he went from not talking to me at all, to being very sweet and reminding me of our sweet moments.he told me that i havent changed and im still jealous.I told him that even if what mandy was saying were true i would have no right to interfere cuz we're just friends but i did what i did cuz she's making up stories and spreading them,and if anyone was doing that to me i would like to know. what is the next step? i dont know how mandy is gonna get away with this.even my bf is confident she means him (blue eyes and a scorpio) and im guessing he will cut her off or make it clear that she is nothing but a friend and will never be more.How do i act now? I really really have changed. I reached deeper inside myself the past month to the reasons of my past insecurities and it wasnt his fault.Im working so hard on myself and loving who i am and what i look like for the first time..i need him to see that.How can i make him believe that the silly fights are over? ofcourse im so relieved that this little twat is finally gonna be out of his life cuz she wasnt letting go and was hurting me,but i need him to believe that i told him not out of suspicion,but i told him cuz i think he should cut her out of his life cuz she's becoming obsessed and its kinda scary. I need another chance with him...what are the steps i can take and things i can do to win his heart back?ps....he loved me more than any guy has ever loved a girl,and im sure part of that love exsists somewhere.
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best friend, crush, facebook, flirt, jealous, kissing Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Moo's Mum  +, writes (17 July 2010):
 Sorry sweetheart but your actions over Mandy proved that you haven't completely changed as you displayed jealousy again instead of trusting your ex. Your ex is completely justified in saying that you haven't changed. I'm sorry I know that's not what you want to hear but that's what I see.
You want him back then you need to back off. When you hear things about your ex that alarm you take some deep breaths and calm yourself. Talk to your diary or us about it DO NOT confront him because every time you do stuff like that you are showing him you are still the same.
Please keep writing about your fears and insecurities on this site or you can PM me and I'll talk to you about it. This will help you to keep things in perspective.
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