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I've tried to help him but our relationship is going nowhere...

Tagged as: Breaking up, Cheating, Family, Health, Sex, Three is a crowd, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (16 May 2010) 1 Answers - (Newest, 16 May 2010)
A female Macedonia age 30-35, anonymous writes:

I have long relationship, we are together like 2 years now. Everything was doing fine untill his mom died. Ever scince he changed and I was always ready to help his get true. In our country, people mourn for whole year, and don't go out or go to partys when close family member dies. I respect that, Im fact, I hate that 'coz It's stupid tradition. Anyway, I think that he use this tragedy as excuse not to do many things as other young people do. Our relationship

became...boring. All the time is the same thing. I have tried to talk to him about as, about the way thing are but is so proud to admit it. We don't have sex anymore. And when we do it, It's obvious that we don't like it. All thouse talks were no good. Im seeing other boy now, and I like him. The worst part is that I don't regret, I don't feel blame. We haven't had sex yet, and we wont have it. Im confused coz I love my boyfriend, he is such a great kid, studyng hard, have plans for future, and the other boy is the "weed guy" with no ambitions. Maybe this will go away and everything will be better. Or maybe he is not in love with me anymore. Month ago I wonted my boyfr. to be the only man in my life but now...I don't know. How could I let this happen?

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A reader, anonymous, writes (16 May 2010):

You didn't "let" anything happen. If things were fine with you guys until his mother died, then that could be the cause of why he is distant with you. If I lost my mother, it probably would effect my relationship that I have with others as well for I love my mother and there is none like her. If he had a great mother, it will be even harder on him. Moreover, how can anybody put a time limit on when a person should and should not mourn the death of a loved one? Some people never get over an exp. such as death and shouldn't be expected too. Rather he just needs to learn how to cope with the lost and the last thing you should be doing it talking about your feelings only and what you want. Instead, mourn the loss of his mother with him and let him draw closer to you when he feels the time is right. It's obvious from what you have written that before the death of his mother, things were great between you too. This exp. is just a test of faith in your relationship with him and I hope neither of you fail.

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