A
female
age
36-40,
*enada846
writes:I used to be a go-er. A girl on the move I used to go out and party or be around fake friends 4 out of 7 days a week. I used to be a people pleaser and chase men relentlessly to fill the loneliness. I most recently I got so tired of getting screwed over by the people I called my friends. And these bad relationship.I am finally at a dead end but even those things are out of my life I still feel restless .I feel like even though I'm with my loving family. I still feel alone. I've tried therapy and medication but I feel like I'm doing nothing with my life. Even though I was miserable before at least I felt like I was doing something even though it didn't lead me anywhere Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 August 2016): I dont know your history but it sounds to me that you are realising that time is passing you by.At 35 it is quite probable that you are biologically noticing your chance to have a child is slipping away because only a few women have children after 40!But you have to be able to look after yourself before you can look after your child although many youngsters rise to the occassion!However there is a world of unloved ,neglected children out there,or those in such despareate poverty that they cant even afford to go to school or drink clean water,so you could think of joining one of those organisations that help out these unfortunate youngstars!You could sponsor a child and receive letters of progress!If you are fit enough you could get yourself a young puppy and train it,taking lots of walks as many a new friend has been made that way and it is very good for your health!
A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (21 August 2016):
 I have seen other posts from you and they were very recent. I get the feeling that you have misconceptions about how therapy and meds work and what to expect from them.
They aren't a magic wand, you wave it a couple of times,and, voila', you feel great and life is peachy.
It takes time, and being consistent.
For meds it may take at least 6-8 weeks before they even start to kick in. And therapy- even not wanting to follow Woody Allen's example ( 45 years in therapy or something like that ) therapy is a travel, not a destination, if you get what I mean. You start building things- a new set of thoughts, a new you - little by little, block upon block, day after day. Hopefully you can see progress and improvement right from the start, but it's a work in progress . It's a gradual transformation, not something that happens overnight.
Oh and I forgot the most important thing, and the one you are probably skipping altogeter : you have to do your part too. You have to actively cooperate to your own healing.
For instance, a few weeks of meds can take away, or decrease, the symptoms that prevent you from doing anything. If you are a raging insomniac, you'll start sleeping again. If you lost your appatite , you'll start eating again. If you have uncontrollable cryng bouts, they will stop. Etc. etc. In short, you'll be in decent enough shape to go out and do things for yourself. BUT : you have to find out and DO these new things to change your life for the better.
Volunteering, as the others suggested ( which is always a fast, great way to stop gazing at your navel and to understand that no, the Universe does not rotate around you and your own personal concerns ).
Sport and physical activity.
Going back to school, taking classes, learning something new.
Exploring your talents and passions,- or discovering new ones that you did not even knew you had.
Looking for a new job if you are not satisfied with the current one.
You will have to come up with your own way to make positive changes in your life. Meds and therapy will just be a solid back up to lean on and give you strength and mental lucididty in making new choices. But you have to make these choices.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 August 2016): I have been a party girl and can relate to this.I'll tell you what worked for me. I fell sick a couple of years ago and none of my party friends cared and not even my boyfriend.So I also got depressed and indulged in self pity.Till I dragged myself out of that rut. I stopped hanging out with people who were with me for their selfish reasons. I took up volunteering and writing and made new friends. And now after many years I still party. Only with 1-2 people who are close to me.Try to get some hobbies going. There must be something you are good at. Volunteer it will make you feel good. Believe me. Pick up a sport. It helps with depression.And don't feel lonely. You can do this. Give it time. Don't obsess over men. The right one will come when you stop hunting and just focus on yourself.Hugs.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (21 August 2016):
 Therapy and/or meds are not an instant fix. Life doesn't work that way. For some it takes YEARS of therapy to get to the root and then to deal with it.
The reason you feel unfulfilled is because you ARE unfulfilled.
ONLY you can change this.
SET some REALISTIC goals for yourself.
DO something NICE for others EVERY day. It can be a little thing, it can be absolutely free. It can be a cup of hot coffee for a homeless guy you pass everyday, it can be a "hello Anna, how are you?!" to the receptionist when you walk into work. It can be sending off a card for someone having a birthday etc.
Think about volunteering. If you like cats/dogs spend one Saturday a month at a shelter that needs volunteers.
Or as a candy striper at a hospital or retirement home. Or be a "big sis" to someone.
What would you LIKE to do with your life? Make a list. Start with the REALISTIC ones first.
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A
female
reader, Andie's Thoughts  +, writes (20 August 2016):
 I'm sorry that you're finding this so hard, OP, but I've read all of your posts on this and you're just not giving it enough time or filling your life with better things, like volunteering. Keep going to therapy, keep on whatever your doctor has prescribed, volunteer with animals or homeless people and create a new life for yourself. It won't get better overnight; it takes time - you need to work for it. Good luck, OP!
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