A
female
age
41-50,
*inkpies
writes:I have been single for 10 months, after the person I was in love with finished it. It has taken me quite a long time to get over them, but along the way I have been doing what I can do find someone new.I'm loosing hope ..... I've tried dating sites, going out with friends, mate putting in a word with people for me.I'm attractive, have an interesting job and hobbies. I'm not clingy or pushy. I don't bunny boil over guys.My downfall is my shyness, I can I try to smile and be chatty with guys, but nothing seems to go anywhere. I'm pretty sure I have made it obvious with a few guys that I fancied them, and have been on a date with one person, but the texting fizzled out, and I didn't hear from them any more.It seems like only the high maintenance girls get a man... I'm just not like that, I'm chilled out.I'm sick of being on my own, at the same time I'm not going to settle for someone I know I won't like in 6 months time.I don't know what else to do!:s
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female
reader, Pinkpies +, writes (7 July 2010):
Pinkpies is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks :)
I just get so frustrated .... I can get good at most other things I try, but talking to guys is a nightmare.
Maybe I don't care about doing things wrong in sport/ work, I laugh it off. But I really can't take it if I do something stupid when it comes to men.
I've lost my confidence for some reason, and need a good boost.
:) x
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (4 July 2010): Honestly, don't sweat it. I've gone years sometimes in between serious relationships, and I am an attractive, successful male. Sometimes that is just how it goes when you're looking out for #1.
The first things you should ask yourself is why is having someone else so important to you in the first place? Is it pressure from friends/family? Is it to boost your own ego, or do you truly want the companionship of another?
I know what it's like to feel like there isn't anyone else out there for you...believe me, I've been there. I am painfully shy around females, and never, ever make the first move because I am, for whatever reason, paranoid of rejection. A wierd thing considering I've never even had the opportunity to be rejected as a result of my shyness, but it is what it is. I never put myself out there, I just ride it out and wait for it to either happen, or not. I've had several significant females in my life thusfar, been in love, had more than a handful of meaningless female companions.
What I've found in the most meanginful relationships that I have had in recent years, is friendship is truly the key to success. If it's just based on looks, or the need to just not be alone, it is detined for failure. But, if you can build a relationship on the solid ground of mutual respect and admiration, you're more likely to have a long term mate.
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A
male
reader, ALH90 +, writes (4 July 2010):
 Maybe try to be a bit more confident with your approach to guys. I know we can sometimes seem like we want to control everything and make all the moves but sometimes we're shy too (fear of rejection, having the mick taken out of us for it, etc) which may be the case with the guys you tried to make aware that you fancied them. Also a lot of the time us guys don't think attractive girls will go for us! And if a guy does think they will then it may turn out he is very into himself and not as into you..But anyway, I hope this helps you out a bit.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 July 2010): Relax you could be trying to hard to find someone. The best way to met someone is when it just happens. As long as you are not sitting home every night. Do things you enjoy, go out with your mates, and don't even think about looking for a man, I bet before you know it you will meet someone.
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