A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:Hello,I have been seeing a guy since April. I met him at university but now I have finished, I have moved back home, meaning we live 2 hours away from each other. I also went travelling for two months after seeing him for 2 months. We still spoke all the time and when I got back, we started seeing each other again and still are now. He keeps telling me his gonna ask me to be his girlfriend soon however his already told me his in love with me. I do really like him but I feel lonely, he only messages me for 3 hours at the end of each day, and he never rings me. I see him once every two weeks because of our busy work schedules but like I said, I feel lonely and I've told him all he says is that I'm overthinking. What do I do? Am I fighting a last cause of are my feelings enough to fight for a relationship!
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reader, anonymous, writes (1 August 2017): It's hard to explain things to a young woman in-love; especially after a guy uses the "L-word." Women just melt and lose all sense of reason when they're told by someone that he (or she) is in-love with them. So advice goes in one ear, and out the other. In this case, you'll read the advice you like; and ignore anything that doesn't tell you what you want to hear.
I'm going to take a chance, I think you'll listen.
I'll give it to you straight. If the promise of sex on-demand is an option on the table; it's worth his time to take advantage of the opportunity. Invoke the the word love, and cast the spell. He plans to cash-in that ticket, but not in exchange for a commitment.
He opens that door by telling you he loves you after only knowing you for four short months. This gets you primed.
He tells you he's in-love with you, and once that's said; that's all she wrote! You're putty in his hands.
Then he makes you a promise; but keeps you waiting in anticipation. Stringing you along on that promise. Then, you'll do anything to help quicken his decision to make you his girlfriend. I don't think it's his plan.
If you've already had sex, he's playing the nice-guy; but staying a safe two-hours distance out of reach. His contact will get less and less, and he'll disappear. No calls, just text messages.
Love is stronger than text messages, my dear!
Even for you, it is premature. Hardly knowing a guy, and already feeling the deep emotion of love.
It's too soon for either of you to be in-love. I wouldn't take him seriously; unless he makes that two-hour ride pretty regularly and demonstrates just how much in-love he is. If I had to go by text messaging; I wouldn't attach me heart so soon.
A
female
reader, Honeypie  + ♥, writes (1 August 2017):
 I think YOU want a relationship where you spend time with the other person. I think HE is happy with status quo.
As for being lonely? That is entirely up to you. It's not HIS or other people's job to "entertain" you so you don't feel lonely. Make friends, spend time with family, have hobbies and enjoy life. Don't sit at home waiting for life to come knock on your door.
I agree with Denizen that it sounds juvenile that he is "thinking" about asking you to be his GF. Either you ARE his GF or you are not. Right now (according to him) you are NOT.
Saying you LOVE someone doesn't make it true. Words are CHEAP. But this guy knows what you want to hear. It makes you stick around and show up every two weeks for (let me guess...) SEX.
If you want someone to spend time with you IN person, over the phone (and GOLLY since when is 3 hours!! every night not enough contact?!) then HE isn't it.
Oh and by the by... WHY can't you call him?
This doesn't sound like the beginning of a great relationship. It sounds like two people who want different things trying to make a square peg fit a round hole.
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A
female
reader, Dionee'  +, writes (1 August 2017):
 OP, I would leave this guy alone regarding this issue. He's probably telling you what you want to hear with no intention on acting on it any time soon.
My advice: slow down a little. You decide how long you want to wait for him to make up his mind and make things official but all in all it shouldn't have been this long if he was really serious about you.
Occupy your time with other things and start dating other people. That's my opinion because this guy seems 'too busy' to make up his mind right now.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 August 2017): Here's the thing...
Are you so not yourself that you depend on a man to bring you happiness?
You keep saying "lonely", as if you are ALWAYS lonely.
Geeze. There's over 7 billion people in the world and a God that created you for good things.
What is wrong with you people?
Sort your head out before it's too late and all you have is your miserable loneliness!
If that's what you want?
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A
male
reader, Denizen +, writes (1 August 2017):
 You write: "He keeps telling me his gonna ask me to be his girlfriend soon".
That sounds juvenile. Too juvenile. Do people really do that - ask,"Please will you be my girlfriend"?
I think you should take your foot off the gas regarding him. If he comes knocking at your door then you could give him consideration. After all there may be someone better nearby to whom you might want to give a chance.
But unless this character shows real signs of needing to be with you then I would let him fall away. He isn't that into you.
And stop telling people you are lonely. Get out and make a life. Destiny doesn't do house calls. You have to go and find it.
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A
male
reader, N91 +, writes (1 August 2017):
 Personally I think this guy is a waste of time.
He's going to ask you out soon? Why soon? Why not right now? Is he busy? Got to put his washing out? Needs to fix his car tyre first? What difference would there be between asking you out now and in a months time if he's set that he wants you as a GF? Absolute crap IMO.
I'm also very sceptical of people who say they're in love with another person after such a short space of time. I feel as though it's a tactic to keep the other person hooked and so they won't walk away. I really don't see how you can be in love with another person after 5 months. It makes no sense at all to me.
I think you're going to be waiting a while for him to ask you out. I think he's just dangling the carrot in front of you to string you along.
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