A
female
age
36-40,
*indab
writes:well, in a bit of a mess met this guy not known him long, he said he wanted our own place which we got and wanted a baby, which has now happened.. im now 7 weeks pregnant and he does not want to know, he has 2 children with his previous and has cheated on me once with this ex, he says she has a hold over him, he has been sleeping with her in secret on and off for the past 4 years though he was in a relationship (not me), he has lied from the start, cheated and hurt me beyond belief, he says he will never go to her again, and that things are going through solicitors though only his word on that, because she found out i am pregnant. i have no idea if i can trust him he says a baby would't make him stay (i dont want it to) but i love this guy (i think) we live together he wont move to a bigger place we live in a flat, can i ever trust him again, should i have an abortion, my family have disowned me because of this i have a close friend of 11 years she is 24 soon and has a baby of 1yr im currently 23, she thinks i can do this on my own i dont think i can. im so confused, i have been that ill i have been put on the sick from work, please help if you can what should i do. xx
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female
reader, lindab +, writes (26 April 2010):
lindab is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthank you, its so hard i dont feel very strong right now, i can move out and live with my friend for a while but i need my head checking because i'll miss him, he turned my head and now im left reeling.
A
female
reader, k_c100 +, writes (26 April 2010):
 You are not sure if you love him yet you are living with him and having a baby with him? Plus he has already cheated?
I'm sorry but you have gotten into quite a mess here and personally if I were you I would have the abortion - this is not the right situation to bring a child into the world espeically with a chance that the dad might not be around. A child deserves the best start in life and you just cannot offer that at the moment I'm afraid.
But this is entirely your decision - will you be ok having an abortion? Would you be able to live with this choice for the rest of your life? If you are not 100% happy with having an abortion then dont do it, you have to feel it is the right choidce for you regardless of what anyone else says.
I think most of all this man is no good for you and you need to move out and get away from him. He is not trustworthy and never will be, he will only keep on hurting you. I dont see a future for you at all, there is no point in having a relationship with someone who clearly has no respect for you. If all this has happened after only a short time together then it is only going to get worse - the start of a relationship is meant to be the happiest, most romantic time of all. But this clearly never has happened for you - you have had trouble from the start and it is clear it is not going to change.
As for the baby - do what you think is right. No-one on here can tell you what to do, it has to be your choice. This is a decision you will have to live with for the rest of your life so you cannot listen to anyone else, it has to be a choice that you make and it has to be the right thing for you. This may be having an abortion, or it may be keeping the baby. You just have to decide what is best for you and the child, if you can give it everything it deserves, if you can cope with a child and if you have the support around you to help you. There is no shame in having an abortion either, if it is the right decision for you at the time in your life then no-one can argue with that.
I hope this helps and good luck!
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A
female
reader, rambini +, writes (26 April 2010):
 This man is clearly not going to support you at all, so if you don't think you can cope on your own then you should have an abortion because you cannot rely on him for help. a baby is a huge strain emotionally, financially and unless you feel prepared for all that you will find it very tough. he already has 2 children with an ex who he has no repect for, he cheated on her, he cheated on his next gf and hehas cheated on you, what more information do you need? this man will never be faithful and never be loyal, so in my opinion you should put this down to a life lesson, have an abortion, and learn something from the experience which will enable you to be strong, and find a man who loves and respects you, and then have a baby when the time is right. this man has manipulated you, lied to you, cheated on you, and disrespects you. you deserve more. best of luck.
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