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I've never had a boyfriend but get asked for sex all the time. Why?

Tagged as: Dating, Sex, Teenage<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (25 April 2010) 3 Answers - (Newest, 25 April 2010)
A female United States age 26-29, anonymous writes:

hey guys :)

basically i am 16 years old and i have never had a boyfried!! i mean i have got into someone and done other things but i have never had a boyfriend.

My friends say its because they are to scared to ask for a relationship because i am out of their league. But somehow some boys have the guts to ask for a little more from me then i would like.sometimes boys even asked for sex from me i mean i know them but still its not right.I do get a lot of unwanted attention from boys but i suppose i do go into town (clubbing) even though im underage.I also get older men like in thier 25s asking for something!!

But why havent i had a boyfriend?

help!!

View related questions: never had a boyfriend, older men

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A female reader, Keira9312 United States +, writes (25 April 2010):

Keira9312 agony auntThe way a guy looks at you is based on your appearance. If you dress in a way that shows people you like to be "naughty" then they will think that you only want sex. It also comes from your attitude and personality. Some guys may not care how you dress yourself, but if you are snobby and rude or sarcastic, they may avoid you. You might want to consider changing your ways, and maybe a guy will gravitate towards you.

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A female reader, It's all be okay United Kingdom +, writes (25 April 2010):

You've got two separate issues here: (i) you haven't had a boyfriend and (ii) you are asked for sex by men when you are out clubbing.

It seems to me that the second issue is much more important. I'm not clear of the circumstances, but if a man you know a little bit comes up to you and says "let's have sex" or something like that, they must think that it's an okay thing to say to you.

If you get asked something like this, you need to be replying with "who do you think you are? how dare you say something so disrespectful to me?" Because it is absolutely unacceptable for men to treat you like that.

Next, you need to ask yourself whether you are out clubbing because you are enjoying a nice dance with your friends, or whether you are, accidentally perhaps, looking like someone who is up for no-relationship-attached sex. You must dress conservatively - not too much make up, don't bleach your hair, don't show too much cleavage, don't show too much leg, and so on.

This then leads you onto the first issue - finding a boyfriend. You do not find a boyfriend in a club when you are 16, particularly if all the boys there are much older and you are dressed and acting like someone who might be available for sex. Men think about sex with someone like that, but they wouldn't want someone like that as their girlfirend.

Think about why you want a boyfriend? Someone special to spend time with doing things you like? Like going to the cinema, talking, walking in the park, riding a bike, and so on? Then the best way to find a boyfriend is to get on with the activities you enjoy and to make friends with people of both sexes and one day one of the boys will become a better friend, a special friend.

Finally, you need to think about your safety when hanging around clubs at your age. Do not drink alcohol or not very much, and watch your drink in case it gets spiked. Avoid drugs and avoid those who appear to have drunk too much or taken drugs. And make sure that you have a safe ride home and don't go home too late or alone.

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A female reader, Emilysanswers United Kingdom +, writes (25 April 2010):

I've seen underage girls in town and generally men don't respect them. They think if they are out clubbing they must be up for cheap sex too. Because "nice" girls don't go out like that.

If boys your age know you go out and you dress up then they are going to think that way too.

Boys tend to think of us as either for sex OR for love.

Look at the signals you give out and the image you project to the world. Act like a good girl that their mum's would like and you might get more offers of dates.

And if you like a boy you never do ANYTHING sexual with him until you're in a steady relationship. He has to work for it or he won't respect you.

Good Luck!! xx

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