A
female
age
41-50,
*pumie
writes:Hi ppl! I've got a problem an in need of advice. I've been with my bf for 6yrs my problem started yesterday when I went to visit him. We've been using condoms all the time and recently he doesn't want to use them saying why must we as we are trusting each other. I thought okay. On friday he went to a friends funeral an came back on monday. As I we where making love he fetched his condom and now I don't understand what's going on. Right now I've lost the love connection, I don't feel him anymore. I've got this hatred feeling.
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reader, anonymous, writes (7 June 2012): He's probably using a condom because he doesn't want you to get pregnant. Are you currently on birth control pills or some other form of contraception? If you aren't...and you're talking about not using condoms...then you need to find some other form. Honestly, it stuns me that women so easily give in to their partners when it comes to sex/birth control. Do you really feel comfortable going without a condom? Now you're mad at him for actually using one? If this was my boyfriend...I'd tell him we'd stop using condoms when he goes and gets a vasectomy! It's an outpatient procedure and pretty fast now! Besides that, the whole issue in your email comes down to trust. And, you are saying that you don't trust someone you're having sex with. Maybe you should sit down and think about if this is the guy for you before you have anymore sex with him.
A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (6 June 2012):
 I would only go off birth control/condoms if I got married and want a baby. Men don't like using condoms because they don't feel good. They only use it because they have to. Maybe he's afraid of telling you to go on birth control and was hoping that you would pick up the hint when he said no more condoms. Since you didn't, he went back to condoms. You looked at that condom and thought it was a barrier to your love. You reacted inside but kept quiet. If something bothers you you should tell him. Maybe it has nothing to do with trust or cheating. Just ask him.
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