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I've lost that loving feeling

Tagged as: Faded love, Marriage problems, Sex, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (11 December 2009) 2 Answers - (Newest, 12 December 2009)
A female United States age 51-59, anonymous writes:

Dear Cupid,

My husband and I have been married now for close to 17 years. We have three children.

For the past 5 years my husband and I have been through a lot of financial stress.

During that time he used a lot of profane language,(even around the children) Became very sarcastic, negative and cenacle. Started listening to music I was repulsed by. Drank beer and started watching boxing. He would spend hours in front of the computer chatting with other boxing fans and spent a fraction of his time with us. He’s apologized for the past. He's still not his old self and maybe never will be. I can accept that. I don't feel angry at him for the hard times we've had but I have lost my attraction to him.

I have no sexual attraction and I'm scared.

I love him but the thought of taking my clothes off and being intimate feels awkward. He's now very angry at me to the point of verbal abuse. He feels sex is not that big of a deal and that I'm trying to control him. He really believes I'm rejecting him on purpose. I feel violated anymore just faking it. Please help. I don't know what to do.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (12 December 2009):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Soon567,

We get along fine until the sex thing. If I'm holding back because I'm angry I'm surly not conscious of it. I just don't feel attracted or even I guess turned off by having sex with him. Thank you for your opinion. I do agree our children should not hear their father call their mother profane names. He's so mad at me I can't blame him I guess. I just don't want to fake it anymore. I nee a spark or something. Oh Well:0( Thanks anyway

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A male reader, DoubleM United States +, writes (12 December 2009):

DoubleM agony auntI'm not real good about relationship issues, but this seems toxic due to his verbal abuse, which could escalate. The children, however, are of primary concern - yet you must also remain safe and happy.

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