A
female
age
18-21,
anonymous
writes:Whats going on???? I seem to have lost my sex drive! And I really don't understand why! The last three times my boyfriend and I had sex/did other things I haven't orgasmed, it usually happens every time (sometimes a couple of times!)It definately wasn't from lack of effort, he was trying for ages. The three times, I wasn't even close for ages and then I nearly orgasmed right at the end just when it was too late. (he came and we stopped). Thing is, I lost my virginity to him in march, I'm thinking maybe its because I'm not as nervous/curious anymore? I used to be horny all the time, even after we started having sex regularly, I would be horny even after sex. But now I'm just not horny anymore, I've tried masturbating, even though I wasn't in the mood (to see if its just with him that I'm having problems) and it seems I can't even fantasise or think dirty like I used to. Does anyone have any suggestions? This is really crap! At the moment, I'm going for the 'abstinence' approach for a while to see if that makes a difference but so far, I got nothin. I don't know if its got something to do with the fact that recently during sex I have 'played with myself', at first that made me orgasm pretty much immediately but now, nothing. I have a feeling its because I'm in my own head too much, women's orgasms are mostly mind-orientated aren't they? How can I get my mojo back???
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horny, in the mood, lost my virginity, orgasm, sex drive Reply to this Question |
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male
reader, DoubleM  +, writes (6 May 2008):
 You say that your boyfriend was "trying for ages" to get you aroused, but with all due respect, a young man in the late teen to early 20s age bracket who truly knows a lot about arousing a woman would be rare. I'll admit that I was clueless at that age compared to the things we learn as the years go by, and any man who claims differently is a bold-faced liar. So I would encourage your male friend to learn more about arousing a woman and bringing her to orgasm, especially via oral stimulation.
One of the very best writings on the subject, in my opinion, is "She Comes First" by Dr. Ian Kerner, which should be available online. He could also read some of the writings on this Web site by perusing the search field at the top of every page. Enter such words as cunnilingus, clitoris, oral sex, orgasm, etc. If he tries some of these suggestions with ardor, it will be difficult for you not to respond positively. Best wishes.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 May 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionOh, that makes me feel much better! Thanks! Do you have any ideas what I can do to get it back? xxx
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A
male
reader, DoubleM +, writes (5 May 2008):
From a man's point of view - an older man in fact - I have witnessed girlfriends and wives go through many phases of sexual desires ranging from no interest to insatiable. My current 61-year-old lady friend claims that she went through almost two years with no desire at all after her marriage, but is now wearing me out with constant attention. I just think that women, as well as men, go through all kinds of phases. You are very youthful and really should not be concerned about this - we all have our ups and downs in terms of horniness. LOL
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