A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:So I've been best friends with a guy since grade school. I haven't seen a lot of him this last year because I've been really busy studying for important exams, but we always kept in regular contact. In that time, he got a girlfriend. I bumped into him recently on a night out and we had a lovely time chatting. But when he told the girlfriend he met me, she was furious and demanded he cut contact with me. She said I make her uncomfortable because she has seen photos of me with my arm round him and kissing his cheek, but these photos are online from way way before he even met her. I don't get it. She Apparantly was fine with our friendship until he met me on the night out, then she decides it bothers her and demands he stops talking to me. I'm really hurt he would throw away years of friendship. I thought he valued it. He has literally thown it away for someone he's only been with a few months. I've pleaded with him to see reason but he hit back at me really nasty, he said "just f@*k off I don't want you near me, I near lost my girlfriend because of you!" I am heartbroken to have lost him and cannot stop crying. I am deeply upset. What should I do? He's blocked me on Facebook and all social media, and won't respond to my texts. His girlfriend has been slagging me off to people, calling me a fat bitch, and saying I'm ugly, and someone tagged me in a picture on holiday last year sunbathing at the beach and she commented under it "beached whale" and he commented under in with a laughing emoji. He would never have let anyone treat me like this before, as I was bullied about my weight all through school and he always stuck up for me. Has anyone ever been in a situation like this before, and had he ever seen sense and the friendship been saved?
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female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (10 October 2016):
 At least you have saw his true colors. He is not a nice person and not someone you should call a friend, his girlfriend bullies you and he puts a laughing comment up when he knows you have had a hard time with your weight? What an asshole, you are so much better without him in your life, he is toxic and she is just jealous. Hold your head up high, they are the ones that should be ashamed off themselves.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 October 2016): I have been bullied constantly by almost every one because I was over weight and had no idea how to fight back. I had low self-esteem so it was easier for people to say whatever they wanted to say about me or laugh at me some even called me ugly and continued underestimating me. At home I was an angry child I hated my family because no one ever stood up for me they never seemed to care. One day I woke up at age 16, I've decided that I am going to fight for myself if nobody can. I told myself that I am not going to waste any tears no more. I worked hard at school studied then I earned my respect. Now I was seen as the smart girl. I worked on my looks, asked my parents to take me to a dermatologist to work on my pimples and scares that ruined my pretty face. I began to exercise at home with videos and lost a few kilos. I am now an hourglass shape because I have realised I am naturally thick and I don't have to wish to be skinny like what they used to tease me with. I am proud of my achievements and ever since I stopped comparing myself with anyone. I am living my life as I want to and I don't accept shit from anyone. All those people who used to put me down now they want to get close to me, but I am over them I only focus on things that make me happy. Guys hit on me all the time but I know it is the looks I don't care my eyes are focused on one guy who told me I am beautiful when no one could, he is an amazing soul not to forget how handsome he is and intelligent, scientist. On the other hand I am on my way to become a chartered accountant life couldn't get much better all because I let go of people who always let me down. Do not waste your time or tears please, whenever your conscience tells you it's time to let go NEVER EVER hesitate, IMMIDIATELY let go. When you do so you are saving yourself a hell lot of a heart ache. Instead work on improving yourself, focus on things that make you a great person or things that you love about yourself and make them even better. Do not try to contact your ex friend, he betrayed your friendship and nothing can change that so why focus on things that you cannot control? you are better off, eventually you will make new friends who inspire you to be a better you. He will realise that he shouldn't have treated you badly in future when his nasty girlfriend does not make him happy anymore. That time he will be the one bumping into you and sister you will be in a better place. I am sorry that this had to happen to you, take your time to grieve in secret because someone died, your friend. That guy who is living now is not your friend, your friend died the time you were busy with your exams it's hard to say but I hope it all works out for you. All the best, you are loved. 3
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 October 2016): Your best friend's first responsibility is to his girlfriend. If she is uncomfortable with something, whether you like it or not, he is going to place her needs above yours. And he is right. That is what any good guy would do for his girl.If you were in her shoes, I am sure you would expect the same from him.She is threatened by you. Does she have reason? Maybe she does. And if she does, can you blame her? Can you sit there and tell us she has no reason to worry about you? And even if she was not worried about you now, I think she should worry about the possibility of you getting too close to her boyfriend as time goes by. Relationships develop and progress. Why would she want you getting closer and closer to her boyfriend as his best friend? It does not make sense that you are in the picture. And I can definitely see her point of view. You are a threat. As long as you remain his best friend, you will always be a threat. You might be a nice girl but she will never see you this way as long as she perceives you as a threat. It is nothing personal I am sure. And her feelings would be the same for any girl in your position.Men and women being friends is playing with fire. I know a lot of people on here are liberal and would disagree but you are just placing yourself in a position where you should not be to begin with. Situations create opportunities. Remove opportunities by removing yourself from the situation. Simple.Your best friend chose his girlfriend. He is in the right. And I completely understand his decision as I completely understand hers. I suggest you find yourself a real boyfriend and not worry so much about another woman's boyfriend.I suspect you have had feelings for him all along. Be honest with yourself.His girlfriend is right to be worried.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 October 2016): Oh no this must be horrible for you. The spiteful comments are about their relationship not you. She's trying to make you feel bad because you have a past with him that she isn't part of and that's what she's jealous of. He's joining in to please her because he's an idiot. So what, they both need to grow up.
I have friends of the opposite sex and so does my husband. He goes out to dinner with an old female school friend and it seems normal to me. I don't think a peck on the cheek means anything sexual but then I'm European and we're quite open about physical contact.
You need to move on, forget them and make new friends. One day he'll probably regret the way he's treated you.
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A
female
reader, Ivyblue  +, writes (8 October 2016):
 Off will come the rose coloured glasses and he may then see her for the weener she sounds, and he realises the weener he's been then you'll get your chance to tell him to "fuck off". Sorry but he sounds like a pussy and she hold the whip. Good ridden to both for treating you so mean.
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A
female
reader, Youcannotbeserious  + ♥, writes (8 October 2016):
 Why were you pleading with someone for their friendship? Friendship should be given willingly and generously. You should NEVER have to beg for it. Do you have other friends? If so, now is a good time to cultivate those friendships. If not, now is a good time to make new friends. Forget this pair. They sound like they deserve each other. I know you go back a long way with your so-called "friend", but he is a piece of sh1t to speak to you like that. He does not deserve another second of your time. The fact that his new girlfriend feels so insecure about someone she feels she has to label a "beached whale" tells me she is very insecure about herself and her relationship with this bloke, otherwise she would not have a problem with you being friends. With time, as he keeps giving in to her demands, she will only get more demanding and more possessive. The relationship will, therefore, go one of two ways: he will lead a restricted miserable life, treading on eggshells around her and not be allowed to do anything which she sees as threatening, or he will get fed up of it and dump her. Either way, do NOT make contact with him. He is so not worth it.
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A
male
reader, N91 +, writes (8 October 2016):
 Looks like if anything she's done you a favour. If a so called friend could tell you to fuck off then he's not the kind of guy you should be crying over is he?
Just draw a line under it a realise that they're both pricks who seem to be very, very childish.
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A
female
reader, Kim-Jo +, writes (8 October 2016):
First of all, this guy is not worth your time or your tears. A true friend would defend you no matter what the consequences. His girlfriend is clearly insecure about yours and his relationship but that is NO excuse for the way that she has treated you.As someone who was your best friend he should not allow it. Yes he probably wanted to reassure her that she is his number one but letting her tear you down is completely the wrong way to do that.He clearly has no loyalty. Their relationship WILL NOT last. I guarantee it because there is clearly no trust there. When they break up - and they will - he will come crawling back to you full of remorse and apologies. I urge you to resist the temptation to let him back into your life.I'm not going to lie, it will be hard. He was your friend and the two of you were close but you need to stay strong. Just think of it like this, he has done this to you once and he will do it again.You deserve better. Don't stand for it. Self worth is defined by you. You are a god damn queen and don't let anyone ever make you feel any less than that!
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A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (8 October 2016):
 Your "friend" is a total dickweed, what a LOSER! Seriously! You should THANK your lucky star that you know what a piece of CRAP he grew up to be. Because NO ONE should treat their friends like he has treated you.
Her? She is a total twat - a bully and an insecure *bleep*.
YOU are SO much better off without EITHER of them in your life.
MY advice? BLOCK - DELETE and IF (rather when) they break up and he comes crawling back wanting his "friend" back - you tell him to go .... kick rocks, suck an egg, expire slowly. And then you CUT all contact.
Honey, you do NOT deserve this kind of treatment and no matter HOW old this friendship is, it's not healthy - your "friend" is toxic and so is his GF.
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A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (8 October 2016):
 His girlfriend is a bully and has no class. Your so called best friend betrayed your friendship. They belong together. It's not that he's not seeing sense. He decides that his relationship with his girlfriend is more important.
I am not sure if your friendship with him has been all platonic. Maybe the kiss on the cheek is a friendly one, but whoever sees the picture can imagine more physical stuff going on.
He has to be mean to you because he wants his girlfriend to think that you are the one seducing him, you are the one who can't let go. There's no need to be verbally abusive. I have never been in this situation but what I would do is to back off. Whether their relationship works out does not matter. It would be hard for me to forgive even if he contacts you in the future. I guess he showed his true colors and his capability of hurting people.
To be honest, if I were his girlfriend, I would not be comfortable with your friendship. But instead of showing whos' alpha female and bullying you, I would just take a moment to decide if dating him is worth it. I am just too greedy and want my man all to myself. It does not mean your friendship had no value, but it presents a threat to future girlfriends because women want to be the priority, the most important one in a guy's life.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 October 2016): Unfortunately a lot of people when they're young dump their friends on the say so of someone they've known for 5 mins.
She sounds quite jealous and controlling and he's a fool and a coward for joining in the online bullying of you to keep her happy.
Seriously you're better off without him if he's prepared to treat you this way and these kind of relationships don't endure.
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