A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi I’ve been with my fiancé for just over 5 years we’ve had our problems due to his lack of affection amongst other things the main problem is that he won’t talk through any problems we have he walks out with his dogI say communication is the key to a normal healthy relationship but he just laughs. I don’t feel like I want to be with him anymore but I feel guilty about leaving him he had a rough childhood. he had to bring himself up most of the time. his dad walked out and left him his mother was a alcoholic she died when he was young. his family praise me so much saying how much I’ve settled him down and how grateful they are to me and things he was a heavy drinker now he smokes weed on a daily basis I don’t really feel anything for him anymore but I feel guilty to leave what do I do? thank you
View related questions:
alcoholic, fiance, smokes Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 August 2018): If you no longer love him you shouldn't stay with him. He needs to find help if his difficult past is still an issue for him, but that's his responsibility not yours. If he is smoking weed inside the house that will have implications for your health as well as his.
A
female
reader, Youcannotbeserious + ♥, writes (29 August 2018):
 Is this how you want to spend the next 5, 10 or more years? If not, then you know what you need to do.
You helped him when he was down but he is an adult and not your responsibility. If you are close to any members of his family, perhaps you could contact them AFTER you have finished with him and ask them to rally round and support him.
You do not owe him anything, just because he had a rough childhood. If you two cannot make each other happy, then you need to move on. You both deserve someone with whom you can be happy.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 August 2018): Well, at least you know he loves his dog. You're apparently the live-in maid, half the rent, sex on demand (or whenever); and somebody to feel sorry for him.
Here we are, in that magical-period between 3-5 years! The phase in a relationship where you make-it or break-it!
People don't stay together out of guilt. They stay together out of love. Too bad about his life, that's not your problem. You gave him your heart; and all he gives in return is the sad story of his life. He got a dog to express his affections.
Forgive me, but the hell with the compliments of his family! You calmed him down? Where's his gratitude and appreciation for the five years you gave him? You should feel loved and appreciated.
In his defense; not every guy is sentimental or romantic. Not every guy buys you flowers and quotes poems. How do you know somebody loves you, if they don't show you any affection? How do you resolve issues in the relationship; when you can't talk to the person who supposedly loves you?
I guess you're longtime roommates with benefits. You take care of him; while he loves his dog. How often does he take you out for a walk?
Here's the big question. How did you stay with someone for five years who doesn't make you feel loved? What kept you there? Please don't push that line about guilt. What kept you there this long?
If you don't feel anything anymore. Like Honeypie and Aunt honesty have advised. END IT!
...............................
A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (29 August 2018):
 You should end it. You are not responsible for him. Yes he had a tough start in life but that is not your problem I am sure he wouldn't want you to stay with him out of pity. Just pull the band aid off and end things. He is an adult don't allow him to guilt trip you in to staying or you will live a unhappy life.
...............................
A
female
reader, Honeypie  + ♥, writes (29 August 2018):
 I would end it.
You can't date someone out of pity or marry someone you no longer feel interested in. THAT isn't being kind to him to string him along.
So, yes, I'd end it ASAP and wish him well.
...............................
|
