A
female
age
22-25,
anonymous
writes:I just met this guy recently, he's basically everything I've wanted in a man. But we met online (and have met in person several times) and it was a result of my posting, and I originally only did it as a joke and I said I was older than I was, about 4 years older. We were just talking recently and he said that the only thing that really pisses him off is lying and that he can usually tell if a person is lying or not. My problem is, to fill in the gaps with my life, I've had to create more lies. I know I've dug myself into a huge pit. I'd tell him the truth but how can I? I do realize that I'm a deplorable person for letting it get to this point. We both really like each other but I've told so many lies. He's not going to forgive me, so I think I'm just going to pretend to be really clingy and have him think I'm taking it too fast and then have him break it off. Or I'll tell him that I'm falling for him really fast and it's scaring me and I can't do it to him or the relationship.I know, it's so bad that I'm even thinking about breaking it off with lies. I really like him and this is tearing me apart. But I don't know what else to do. Right now, I think the best course of action is just to leave him alone and I've tried so many times but I haven't been able to. Thanks for reading this long and winding rant. I know I am probably going to hell. It all started out as a joke, and now I've taken it too far.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 May 2009): Tell him you have to break up with him BECAUSE you've lied. Tell him you hate yourself, and basically what you've said here. You will feel better, but you will make him feel worse. Maybe he will forgive you in the future.
Or you can be a coward - lots of people do it, it's not so bad. I mean you are going to break his heart whatever you do, right? Poor guy
A
female
reader, Annalisa  +, writes (11 May 2009):
 You need to stop lying, so why tell more fibbs to get out of it?
I think you need to come clean and be honest about the way you feel. If you can't do it in person, write him a letter and end it by saying you would understand if he never wanted to see you again, but somehow hope for another chance.
You owe it to yourself, really.
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A
male
reader, GrimmReality + ♥, writes (11 May 2009):
 Well, one thing you have not even considered is being honest with him.That does not bode well.Why don't you come clean. Thinking up more lies to weasel out of a relationship is just plain cowardice. Therefore your best course of action is to be honest and face the consequences of your actions, regardless of what they were.Its called having integrity.Put the shoe on the other foot. Wouldn't you rather someone be honest with you than just slink away like some rat?I do believe you just have some maturity issues that some more life experience will take care of. In the meantime, just be honest with the poor guy. Don't add insult to injury just because you want to worm out of your lies so YOU don't feel so bad.Thats just plain selfish.Time to grow up and be an adult.
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A
male
reader, SyferFire +, writes (11 May 2009):
 Your reasoning is bankrupt...Skid row... moldy alley... you get the pictureJust tell him the truth. It won't KILL you. I am amazed with how much deception some females perpetrate on a daily basis, and then justify away. At least you are admitting to yourself and us that you are lying though,. That is actually a massive step, do not underestimate this.So, you are going to cover up lies with more lies, with more lies with more lies?It just makes no sense, surely you see this. Write him a email detailing the big lies you told. Apologize for lying, and, see what he says. The worst that could happen is a man that you are planning on leaving anyway will leave you.Ahhhhhhh...Wait I just had an epiphanyI see. You don't want to be left. You want to be the leaver. Or even if he leaves you, you want to be able to have that justification in your mind that you planned the whole thing. Hence, you still left him.Well, do that dance if you must. Telling the truth might be more painful, yes.. But if you care about this guy, it would be worth the risk, no? Or no?
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A
female
reader, ilovebowsandcherries +, writes (11 May 2009):
 so why don't you just tell him that?tell him how much you really like him and how it all started off as a joke?don't keep lying just come clean and start a fresh.im sure he'll appreciate that you've been honest with him from now on.if he really likes you then he'll forgive you.hope this helps.
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A
female
reader, _JMG_ +, writes (11 May 2009):
 Don't worry everyone gets into difficult situations.You should be honest with him and tell him the truth (In person not online), tell him you did it as a joke at first and started lying and then you started to really like him and realised you shouldn't of lied in the first place but you thought it was to late to change it. Tell him you kept on lying hoping you would find a way out and that after careful consideration you decided to come clean! If he really likes you he will understand and forgive you - hey you may even end up laughing about it in years to come!I hope this helps and you problems are solved.JMGx
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A
male
reader, StudentOfLife  +, writes (11 May 2009):
 If you're planning on leaving him. Why not tell him the truth to see what would happen instead? If he end up breaking up with you, then the result would be the same. No?
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