A
female
age
30-35,
*ostbrunette
writes:Dear Cupid,My boyfriend and I have been dating for 2 years, the relationship has never lacked anything. We love each other, we don't fight, and we have fun together where ever we are.Here's the problem, during the first year i caught him for sleeping with two girls, time frames were spaced apart and we were both only 18 and fresh in college and university. He made up for it and at the time i was okay with it because we were so young and our relationship in the begin wasn't as serious as it has become. Not to long after i caught him using multiple cybersex chatrooms, this has unfortunately been an ongoing problem for us. He claims he has a problem and thinks its an addiction to porn.Im a confident girl, I know im smart, fun, and pretty but i dont want to stay in this if its just going to take that self-esteem away from me. Do i stay with him? Or should i move on?
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chat room, cybersex, move on, porn, university Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, lostbrunette +, writes (19 August 2011):
lostbrunette is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for the replies they really do help
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 August 2011): He needs to get help--REAL help.
You deserve better.
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A
female
reader, janniepeg +, writes (18 August 2011):
 By saying addiction he may want to sound more innocent than he is. Like the internet is doing it to him, he's victimized and had no choice but to look.
If you want to talk to him about it simply express how that makes you feel. Tell him he has the freedom to do whatever he wants, but if he is with you, you wish that he could devote to only you sexually. I think it's not difficult to see which choice he (or other men) is going to make. Only an idiot would say he would rather be single and engage in cybersex than be in a fulfilling relationship. If he still engages in cybersex without your knowledge, then it means he doesn't want to be with you and you shouldn't put up with it.
This is only common sense and unfortunately you have to talk to him, explain things to him like he didn't know already. Anyways tell him you would respect him more if he could just stop.
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A
female
reader, NennaHB  +, writes (18 August 2011):
 Serial cheaters will always cheat. You already caught him more than once. Do you need more motivation to leave the boat? As I can see you are a smart girl, you are starting to feel he is taking away your self esteem. Don't let him!
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A
female
reader, Vanessa_Twinkle  +, writes (18 August 2011):
I think he needs to sort his problem out, if he does have an addiction he needs help,and its not fair on you having to deal with this,if after he gets help it doesnt really help with anything i think you should find someone else that really appreciates you and doesnt feel the need to do something behind your back.
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