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I've had bad luck with women in the past, and now I'm wondering if this new girl is testing me or just playing games

Tagged as: Dating, Flirting, Online dating, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (25 February 2017) 7 Answers - (Newest, 3 March 2017)
A male United Kingdom age 36-40, anonymous writes:

I would like some advice on what to do with a female I'm currently talking to. Ive had no luck in the past when it comes to relationships and have always ended up getting hurt, no fault of my own. I'm not a bad looking guy and can get dates,

I decided to join a dating site, last week I came across this girl I really liked and we had things in common and spoke to each other.

The thing I'm confused by is she says she's into me and the next it's games and messing with my head. I don't know if she is trying to test me or she genuinely is playing games.

Ive not come across as needy or pushy as I know women from their experience don't like it?

what should I do? should I confront her?

Ive not said anything to her yet and that's why ive asked for advice on here first before I take that step.

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A female reader, aunt honesty Ireland +, writes (3 March 2017):

aunt honesty agony auntPlaying games as women do? Well with an attitude like that you might be lucky to get a date. Not all women play games and it is very judgmental off you to think that they do. Also to me it sounds like she is not all that interested therefore best just to stop contacting her. Also you have never met this girl and only been speaking to her for a week, so how can you possibly say you like her?

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (26 February 2017):

shes into me one minute the next she isnt and doesnt text me for at least two or three days, and its always me that does the contacting, shes just playing games as women do, she knows I like her but I dont know.

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A female reader, RubyBirtle United Kingdom +, writes (26 February 2017):

I think we're missing some key pieces of information here...

What is she actually doing or saying that makes you feel that she's "playing games".

Sometimes it's all a matter of interpretation and if you "confront" her and accuse her of game-playing she might have no idea what your talking about. (That's happened to me once)

If she's causing this much doubt and confusion in you after just a week perhaps she's not the right match for you.

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A male reader, rasblak Singapore +, writes (26 February 2017):

I don't get it... It's barely a week you've been speaking to that person.

My impression is that you are taking things too seriously. She's, at this point, just pixels on your screen, or electromagnetic waves reaching your phone, and so are you to her.

If you feel that she's playing games and messing with your head, it ought to be a simple matter of investing your energy into other more interesting prospects on the site instead.

Why are you already on dearcupid asking about what could, for all we know, be some smart enough bot in Russia?

My guess, you'd confront her and she'd have no idea what on earth you're talking about.

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A female reader, Youcannotbeserious United Kingdom + , writes (26 February 2017):

Youcannotbeserious agony auntYou only contacted this girl last week, haven't met her yet and she is already messing you about? Seriously? If this REALLY is the case, then drop her and move onto someone else before you invest any more emotional energy in her.

I would be interested to know what you mean by "messing with your head".

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A female reader, Campari Milano United Kingdom +, writes (26 February 2017):

Are you saying some girl is playing games with you on a dating site before you've even met her?

She is bad news

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A female reader, White_Dove United Kingdom +, writes (26 February 2017):

White_Dove agony auntWhen you say playing games what do you mean for example?

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