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I've got nothing in common with my family anymore

Tagged as: Family, Health, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (20 April 2017) 2 Answers - (Newest, 21 April 2017)
A female South Africa age 18-21, anonymous writes:

Lately I've come to realise that I'm drifting further away from my family.

Here is the back story.

I was diagnosed with major depression and anxiety at age 18, I'm now 21. Needless to say;things got really bad with my health and I was advised by the school and my doctor's to drop out and focus on my health... That's how bad it was. Since then I'm completing my schooling part time but due to me feeling "dumbed down" so to speak (my mental capacity due to my illnesses has ridiculously depleted). Sometimes I can't even remember whether I've had a shower or not. That's how bad my memory has become as well.

Both of my siblings are in university (aged 19 and 25) and my mom graduated in 2013. they all bond over this experience that they're all having or have had while I sit there feeling irrelevant because in all honesty: I don't understand what they're going through and they don't understand what I'm going through.

All of my friends are graduating next year and I'll only be completing my schooling then. My brother will be done studying, my sister will be in her third year of four and I will still be in the same spot feeling stagnant in life.

All day, all they discuss is university and how I should be happy that all I get to do is sit home all day and work my part time job on the weekends when they don't get how I'd absolutely kill for a normal life. when I tried explaining my feelings to them, my sister basically said that I should be happy I'm not in their shoes because they have so much to do and blah blah blah.

I've recently noticed that I'm drifting from them because we have nothing in common anymore because they all share the university thing while i haven't even finished school so what can I possibly add to any other their all day long conversations?

Also, they make comments about people not finishing school and then realise I'm sitting there and then say something like "but they dropped out, you had to leave so it's not the same thing".

Already I feel like the most inadequate version of myself and being around them makes me feel even dumber.

So, recently I've applied for a job in another province and I've been shortlisted for the position. One of the reasons I'm hoping that I get it is so that I can finally feel some sense of self worth again and the other is simply to get away from all the university noise.

Am I justified to feel this way?

Some advice would be much appreciated.

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A male reader, Sagarock India +, writes (21 April 2017):

I'm hoping that I get it is so that I can finally feel some sense of self worth again and the other is simply to get away from all the university noise.

Am I justified to feel this way? Of course you are . Go for it stay away from your family for a while do your own thing and they know your worth.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (21 April 2017):

You are justified to feel this way however do you see a therapist?? Your family dont mean to be mean to you and you study and working is amazing after what you have been through and applying for a new job is a massive step so well done !!!! Dont be so hard on yourself...but remember you should be proud of your achievement as your family is of thiers ...try and stay positive and say positive things every day about yourself (say them out loud) good luck with the job application,take care .

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