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anonymous
writes: I'm 12 and have no confidence whatsoever. At all. I can't even ask a shop assistant how much something costs or a teacher if I have a problem. A lot of people like me... I guess, but I feel alone, even though my best friend is always there for me. I've never been bullied before in my whole life... what is up with me? How do I boost confidence? I'm pretty confident about people I've known since I was, like, 5... but that's all. I have a slight stutter and stumble over words. I'm in top band, and doing pretty well. Yesterday I ran out of school because of my lack of confidence, crying my eyes out. I felt confident about that. But now I'm in trouble and so messed-up. I feel really comfortable around my best friend, but feel as if she's my only 'real' friend. Obviously, the lack of confindence mean people find me difficult to talk to. And if I think about asking a boy out, I feel like fainting. I'm kind of a mummy's girl, and I spend a lot of time on the PC and watching TV, because I don't have to meet people that way, and people can't hurt my feelings. It's a safe option I suppose. My friends are great... but somehow I always feel like an outsider, not fitting in anywhere.
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male
reader, agonyunclechris  +, writes (26 October 2007):
 heya
sounds just like i was at your age
confidence deffinately grows with time , the only way you can build confidence is to involve your self in things , talk to the shopkeeper even tho you are nervous keep involving yourself in conversation bit by bit ,spend less time on the pc and try and go out with your freind and in no time you wont believe you couldnt talk to the shop keeper or look a boy in the face
confidence is like an egg , its just getting the shell to crack then learning to walk and before you know it you will be flying
take care hun
good luck
chris z
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reader, anonymous, writes (30 April 2005): You say people do like you, so you must have many good traits. You are also lucky to have one really good friend who you are comfortable with.You are taking the easy option by staying in and avoiding people but it is understandable.Take things a step at a time to build up your confidence. In class, raise your hand and answer a question. Say hello to someone you vaguely know, you don't have to strike up a conversation with them initially. Take a deep breath before you do these things and tell yourself that you are liked and worthy of being listened to. Go with your best friend to groups and activities. Does she know how you feel? I bet she could boost your confidence if you asked her for reassurance.You are still very young, do not worry. Confidence grows with time. Some people seem to have loads of it but you are sensitive and worry more than others. This is no bad thing but distract yourself by having small conversations with friends at school, you know you can always walk away if things get a little overwhelming. Just say you have to dash to the loo. They will understand.In terms of asking out boys, don't worry. The more you get involved with school life and after school activities, this will happen naturally. You may not even have to ask a boy out as he may beat you to it!Once you involve yourself more with your friends, you will stop worrying about this confidence issue so don't give up. Just take things a step at a time.
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reader, Kitten-Man +, writes (30 April 2005):
It sounds that you need a bit of independant time away from your mum. Go to a camp in summer break maybe even if it means taking along your friends. It would be better if you go alone, to develop your skills as a social person.Stroll into school and life as though you are the ruler of it. Act as though you are on a computer game of school, think of problems as bosses that you must defeat in order to succeed. (don't go round shooting your teachers with bb guns though)
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