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I've got his phone number. Can someone help me with advice on how to ask him out?

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Question - (30 September 2005) 3 Answers - (Newest, 4 October 2005)
A female , anonymous writes:

I'm interested in a guy who works temp. for the same company I work for. For the past few weeks we've made small talk. He just recently told me that he was losing his job, so I offered to help get him another and exchanged phone numbers. Well, I want to invite him out on a date but I really don't know what to say. I know he's interested in me, the hard part is just getting him to go out with me. Any Suggestions?

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A male reader, Dr Vincenzo +, writes (4 October 2005):

Men are very simple.

Ask him out.

He will either say yes or no. If he says yes then you can take it as far as you like.

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A reader, wwww.datinghaven.com +, writes (2 October 2005):

What anonymous says!

Now dont tart up but wear less then you would normally otherwise do like dont wear jumper/cardigan/coat or if you do wear a very small thin one so if you say you are cold then he would believe you.

What i would say is, make a list of jobs and invite him to meet you at the cinema, tell him that you need to relax and then jobs will come easier to you. (thats true i know that myself, those that are unemplyed for a long while can get very down and some even suicidal).

i.e.

You: "Hi [name], Howz the job hunting going?"

Him: "[response here]"

You: "Fancy meeting up tonight to look at some jobs?"

Him: "[response here]" or "Yeah, OK"

You: "Well, it's not good for you to stay in by yourself looking up on jobs all night, you need to relax a little. So about tonight, how about going to the cinema as mates?"

Him: "[response here]" - if he says another place adjust

You: Arrange a time, and tell him to brign job paper with him

You: "[good bye greeting]" - whatever you normally say

dont say name, replace that with his name and personalise the message so it doesnt seem you are reading, be best if you done it yourself.

If he says he cant do tonight or no, say maybe another time then, dont be rude or upset but say bye (or whatever you normally say) politely and but the phone down abruptly (i.e. dont allow him to extend the dialogue, by if's n but's). If you think you messed up then he would ring you back and apologise maybe another day (if later that day ignore him), then blame it on your hormones!

TIPS:

* Emphasize on the fact he needs to relax from job searching all the time (chances are he doesnt do it all the time but its "sweet" and shows you care)

* Make sure you say that going to the cinema is "just as mates"

* Makes sure you mention that him to being paper with him (you wont need it though)

* Look great, but dont make it too obvious, if its cold dont dress up totally warm (you want him to make it seem that you are cold so he can beleive it BUT dont die from the cold neither)

* When you meet, ask if he has the paper with him (unless he holds it above waist height)

* Get very close when looking through the paper

* Compliment him on applying for jobs that he maybe unlikely to get (it doesnt harm to apply for a job that you dont get, it will make him feel good about himself)

* Every now and then (dont say every 5 minutes though) emphasize the fact that you feel cold or that its a very cold night or that (in the cinema) its very cold in here (unless its very hot then it probably wont work)

* After you got a big(ish) list of jobs down, ask him if he wants to go to watch a film now (dont see film straight away before you looked at jobs and dont take so long that the cinema actually has closed. also best to check film times)

* When you get in remind him the fact that you are cold and then ask him if he minds giving you a cuddle or even better, hint the fact that you wish someone was there that could keep you warm i.e. if you had a boyfriend. Many men wont pick up on hints (that isn't a good way of testing if they like you or not) so if it doesnt work first time, dont keep try hinting he would just dislike you for repeating yourself, simply move on and ask him.

* If you watch a scary film you can take advantage by clinging on to him (and looking afraid or turning away from watching it) at the scariest parts - if he moans, simply apologise, (in fact many men (unless have a gf or wife) wont have a problem with it)

* When you get out of your seat, pretend your legs have gone dead and almost fall over and ask him if he minds if you can out your arm around him and if he can help you get out of the cinema. Slowly seem to get better, dont go from dead leg to ok!

* At the end when the film has ended, when you are outside ask him if he enjoyed the film? Even if deep down you didnt think so.. create phrases like "That was very scary", "that monster scared the f**k out of me", "did you see my face when that..?"

* If at this point you are very close, cuddle him and look in his eyes and smile at him, and thank him for going to the cinema with you,then get very girlish and call him sweet, cute, maybe compliment some of his facial features, then kiss him. If he seems not to like (or not to be bothered), say "i'll see you tomorrow at work" or something then walk home, if he reacts well then kiss him again, if he doesnt go in with toungues or anything then, tell him he is a good kisser, then greet him good bye then go home, if he snogs you then afterwards dependign on the vibe ask him if he wants to go home with you and look at those jobs or if not so well ask him if he wants to go to pub or out clubbing.

* If the night turns into sex then ask him out for a date

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (1 October 2005):

find some jobs,make a list,and tell him to meet somewhere to look it up together.when he comes be pleasant and sweet and try to use your humor,he will be impressed,and he will probably ask you out!good luck!

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