A
female
age
18-21,
*nastasiya
writes:Ok, I was in love, in a 2 year relationship and then he suddenly left me and didn't even give me any reasons. I was shocked, and alone for about three months, and then this guy (my current bf) came around and I really liked him. I even thought at one point that he could make me happy and I could be in love with him, but as the relationship progressed I started to realize that he loves me and I'm hurting him cause I'm still in love with my ex and I can't give him everything he deserves. Anyway, time passed and I got used to the idea of a new guy in my life and he made me happy. So I decided to go to Europe to college and he came with me. Now I'm at the point where I think it's a dead end cause he's indifferent, doesn't show any interest, just wants to have sex...I think he doesn't love me anymore. I know I need to break up with him but it's complicated, because he's in the same group with me in every class every day, and he would make it hard for me on purpose cause he knows what I feel for him. So I can't do it. I dont know what to do! And I will have to be in the same class with him at least 4 years!
View related questions:
my ex Reply to this Question |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 April 2009): You're wasting your precious life time, and his, but who cares about his. He's laming out on you, so you owe him nothing but your honesty. Lay it out, straight out, but show you've cared and loved him, but feel it's time to move on, and b.t.w., you are staying put, in class. You just have to bite the bullet and know you will go through a storm, but the psyche is far more adaptable than you may believe. IF he begins to behave in such infantile, revengeful behavior, yeah, you might be hurt, but if you stick to your guns and do your life path with honor and integrity and congruency to the actual state of your inner being... and don't kick him in the butt- you'll earn self respect. That will earn you a ticket to a really, really worthwhile man in your future. Tough up, but be real. Don't cry and feel you have no power. It's just tough, that's all. It'll build character. Be honorable to your true feelings.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 March 2009): i'm really surprised by how different he seems to be...one minute he loves you and even goes to europe with you and the next the only thing he wants is to have sex with you and no longer seems to care about you.in my opinion,there are two possible reasons for his big attitude change.one,he's been extremely hurt by the fact that you're still in love with your ex and is acting this way because he's in pain and thinks you don't love him-it's possible-or two,he just doesn't love you anymore in which case i'm sure he wouldn't give you a hard time if you broke up with him since the feeling would be mutual.i'm not so sure about the latter,though.my advice to you is to talk to him and ask him why he's changed so much and doesn't appear to be interested in you anymore.if it's because he's over you,then you should break up with him and don't worry about his reaction,i'm sure he'll agree.if it's because he's feeling hurt,then,if you don't love him at all,you should leave him because he will only end up getting more hurt if the two of you stay together.you said it yourself,though,this relationship isn't going anywhere and you want to break up with him,so unless you'd rather spend the next four years with him,break up with him.
...............................
A
male
reader, guppypig +, writes (24 March 2009):
He never loved you. He likes the sex. Find someone who will treat you better than a whore.
...............................
A
female
reader, crazykit666  +, writes (24 March 2009):
I had EXACTLY the same situation as you last year. I was with this guy who was in the same friendship group, we were together all day every day etc, but I didn't feel like the relationship was working. It was the hardest thing I could do, but I broke it off. You have to remember that if you don't think it is working you can't just stick it out for the wrong reasons! I felt influenced by my friendship group and was scared that I would lose some friends for seemingly 'messing him around'. At the end of the day, it sorted my true friends from my false friends (although, they were all true friends and really supportive). My friends were so concerned that we were both ok and didn't want to be immature and 'take sides'.
In terms of me and him... we have many awkward moments. To start with it just seemed natural to kiss him when I greet him etc. It got easier though. We gradually weened ourselves out of each other's lives. However, I feel like we will never be truly friends again. It is hard to be so close to someone you thought you once loved without wanting them again. Or in my case, it is hard to give up on someone and encourage them to move on and then realise that you need them back :( Be completely sure about this before you do it. It will have big consequences on your general day-to-day life. But as I said before, never stay in a relationship you aren't sure about, cuz the chances are that your intuition is right.
...............................
|
