A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Dear Cupid,I am crazy about my best friend who is a boy, by the way and i was recentley at his house and we nearly ended up in bed together, and i told him that I really like him but he told me he is gay.I feel so confused and I still think about him all the time.What should I do?
View related questions:
best friend Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 November 2007): Yeah, the first thing that popped into my head was avoiding a romantic situation. But then it occured to me that it's too much work making your best friend think you're gay.It's like any rejection; you WILL think about him and mourn the loss of what might have been the same way you would if he were straight and had rejected you. But you've also got to look at his side of things.He's gay. He came out to you. That's a huge thing. Talk to him about it; don't be nosy, and don't push; he's your best friend and he needs you. [Unless you're totally homophobic, in which case go screw yourself, but based on your post, I don't think you are].Back to him needing you. Ask who he's told, be interested. Gays face rejection from friends and family all the time; I had a friend whose mother refused to acknowledge he'd come out to her or that he was gay for about four months. Another, also gay, friend of mine would tell girls who liked him that he was really particular about who he dated to avoid the reactions of commonly anti-gay societies. Being gay in today's world is not easy. It's easier than it was twenty years ago, but it's not easy, especially for guys.Guys are often tormented for being gay by other guys, or even just shunned. Their father-son relationship often suffers. I think that girls are more comfortable with lesbians than guys are with gays. Gay men have a reputation for being sexually promiscuous at some point in their lives, and are a group that is largely seen as "people with AIDS", although this is debatable. There are websites DEDICATED to hating gays [godhatesfags.com is a great example].You're going to be confused. And that's really an alright thing. Confusion is part of life. I think the best thing for you guys to do is talk about this. Just you two, put aside a night to talk things through and discover where you guys stand.And honestly? Having a gay guy for a best friend is pretty cool. You know they're your friend because of who you are and not because they wanna screw you, they're generally a little more aware of details surrounding their lives, and if you ever need a pretend-boyfriend for a night, you're all set without any tension coming up.Good luck with the whole situation; one way or another, it'll work out.
A
female
reader, honkifuluvnicole  +, writes (27 November 2007):
 I was in the same situation as you last year.
and it really sucks.
but if you can get over the love as a relationship part, then you will be so much better off.
now, my gay friend and i are sooo close as friends, and i love it.
just remember that he is always going to love you, just not romantically.
im sorry you were put in this situation.
xo
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (27 November 2007): Hmm you almost ended up in bed together? Well, I know this sounds crazy but some guys do pretend to be gay to get to girls they like or want. Im not saying this is true especially since it was only almost ended up in bed. Had he been faking well there would have been no almost. Anyways it sounds like he is confused about his own sexuality... just tell him about your feelings and ask him to be open minded about it.
...............................
|
