A
male
age
41-50,
*avel38
writes:I've fallen for one of my staff. We've known each other 3 years for the vast majority of which I've been her boss (we met through me appointing her for the job). She knows that she isn't my normal type, when I first suggested the idea of us dating she thought I was joking. She's also said she always sees me as her boss and a colleague. We have never spent time together alone away from the office or a work environment. The few months we didn't work together we got on great, even though she was dating someone else she'd regularly ring me and text me even when with her bloke, but since he dumped her and I was over-protective and then we started working together again she has kept me very much 'at arms length'. Should I just give up? - I have tried talking with her but she says she just can't see us as more than work colleagues.
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male
reader, pavel38 +, writes (22 August 2007):
pavel38 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionTa for that, yeah the 'type' thing is difficult, it isn't something I ever announced, but we sat opposite other for 2 years so just during normal chit-chat I think she realised the type of person I'm physically attracted to. Thing is I always thought she was good looking, I just never thought of her as anything other than a colleague until I gradually started to realise that I really liked her as a person.
It's been 4 months now since she split with her ex, & sadly like I say over recent weeks whilst in the office things are the same as always, away from work she almost pretends I don't exist. I find that hard, but I have to respect her wish for space, just a no-win situation for me.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 August 2007): The main thing is to give her some space, especially if she has broken up with her boyfriend recently. She might be going through a difficult time and may not need to even contemplate another relationship yet. If, after a couple more months, she answers that she still sees you as nothing more than a colleague, then you must respect her decision and move on once and for all.
Knowing she isn't your normal type is really not a good thing. There is nothing worse than finding out someone you like has a type which you don't fit. It makes you think that they will eventually leave you for someone who IS their type. So, in future, you might want to keep your 'type' private if possible. Best of luck x
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