A
male
age
41-50,
*uzzzled
writes:I'm single and for over a decade involuntary celibate. I've thought many times to pay for some companionship but I always backed out due to moral inhibitions. However, two months ago I had a one time encounter with a streetwalker. We both seemed to like each other and she asked me if I wanted to repeat it. I liked her and I was positive to that, but she wanted to meet very soon which I couldn't. It turned out that she needed money because she was being evicted and wanted to buy some time. I offered for her to use my place, with no strigns attached, until she got back on her feet. At the beginning she refused because she wasn't alone and other reasons but finally after I insisted she accepted and moved in with me. She took the bedroom with her young kids and I stay in the living room. We get along as roomates very well but I have feelings for her and it drives me crazy that at nights somebody else wight be enjoying her. I'm not the jealous type but she does make me very jealous.She's been nice to me by preparing my coffee every day and cooking sometimes during the weekend but our time is extremely limited because when she's at home she's with her kids (which is normal). I want her a lot but I'm afraid if I say something "I'll change the rules under which she agreed" and she might leave which is bad for everybody. I know that with all these things in her mind, a relationship is probably something she's not thinking but if I don't start to do something even with longterm prospects I'll drive myself insane...I've tried to show interest in other parts of her life, I get along very well with her friends who come and babysit sometimes and her oldest son. I had to go behind her back because she wouldn't accept my help and pay off her ex landlord so he would stop harassing her. Maybe I'm helplesly romantic that I think she would ever look at me the same way, overlook our 15 years of age difference and something can happen between us but I need help with having a plan. My mind is completely blank... Thank you for reading
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (24 August 2011): you are crazy. Express your feelings to her.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (24 August 2011): Wow dude. Just wow. Okay, first thing: Nobody is involuntarily celibate for a decade, save for prisoners. 52% of the world has vaginas, you can find a willing and free one. You have serious self-confidence issues, and either paying a women or having a women dependent on you lets you avoid them. Also, lots of introverted guys have fantasies about being some woman's white knight. Get over it. She doesn't, most likely, share that fantasy of yours (caveat: if she does, it might work. far more likely you'd eventually find yourself resenting the support you've lent her.). If you, having realized the above and accepted it, choose to continue to help her out I would redouble your dedication to the "no strings attached" part and move on with your own life, confident in both your altruism and your ability to legitimately give someone support without looking for the payoff. Take care man.
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