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I've completely lost interest in sex due to the health issues it causes for me

Tagged as: Dating, Health, Sex<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (24 January 2016) 3 Answers - (Newest, 25 January 2016)
A female Canada age 30-35, anonymous writes:

I'm in a long term relationship (7Years). We are very happy together. I love him. However, I have to completely lost interest in sex. I think like main reason is that I get a bladder infection every time won have sex (been to doctors and had lots of tests and there is not much they can do other than keep giving me antibiotics which don't really work) so the thought of that is off putting. I also find sex is not pleasurable anymore. I feel tight and sore during it and we can really only do missionary. My boyfriend is really understanding and puts No pressure on me. However, we used to have really good sex and it used to feel amazing. So despite not really being interested in it, I do miss it. I don't think there is any way around this problem though and it saddens me that this is potentially our life forever now. I know there is more to relationships than sex but right now I don't want.it at all. Has anyone been through the same or does anyone have any advice ? Thanks all

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (25 January 2016):

Honeypie agony auntDefinitely, TRY condoms and DO go pee directly after sex. Eddie is correct that it flushes bacteria (though not from the uterus, but from the urinary tract :) ). Using a condom will prevent the Ph of your vagina to change too much, with again helps the vagina to keep clean - YES the vagina is NOT where the pee comes from but they are in a way connected.

Drink PLENTY of water, maybe add some cranberry juice or cranberry tablets/supplements if you don't like the juice. The more water you drink the LESS bacteria you have in your bladder and the LESS likely you are to have another infection. Basically with drinking a LOT of water you flush your bladder of bacteria.

Go pee often! Don't hold it in.

Avoid caffeinated drinks like coffee, tea or soda. Caffeine can irritate your bladder even more when you have an infection.

Underwear can also make a difference - go with COTTON panties, if you sweat or work out, change then out at least twice a day. DO NOT wear the little "scented pads" or pantyliner - those are actually way too like a petri dish for bacteria! And the scented stuff? Not good for the skin OR the Ph balance. Avoid tight tight clothes in the crotch area. No glued on jeans. Make sure there is "breathing room" it prevents sweat from making the panties wet/moist which again... can prevent bacteria from moving in!

NO douching! It again can "ruin" the natural Ph and cause bacteria to thrive.

Try it and see? I'd suggest you two hold off on sex for 30 days while you implement more water drinking etc. SEE if it helps?

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A male reader, eddie85 United States +, writes (24 January 2016):

eddie85 agony auntSorry to hear about this. Not having sex can really put a damper on a relationship, particularly for men.

Here are some of my tips:

1) Use lube. If you are tight or experience vaginal dryness, there are lots of products that might be able to help with this.

2) Urinate after sex. This helps flush bacteria from the uterus. You may also want to try using a condom.

3) Perhaps integrate more oral. While it isn't penetration, it can lead to a lot of pleasure for both the male and female.

I would urge you to talk to your gynecologist as well (or consult with another one) about the difficulties you are having. You seem to be a bit young to be experiencing this sort of problem and finding the right one with experience in this area may lead to a solution.

Eddie

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A female reader, kirra07 Canada +, writes (24 January 2016):

Have you talked to your doctor about what can be done to minimize bladder infections? Because there are definitely some easy steps you can take. When I started being sexually active, I would easily get infections, and it was miserable! So I followed many of the tips that I was given. You and your partner can wash thoroughly with soap, right before having sex. Go to pee RIGHT AFTER having sex (make sure to have a full or partly full bladder before sex, so that afterwards you can immediately pee a decent amount, which flushes out your urethra). Take cranberry pills everyday (this has mixed reviews, apparently some studies show no effect, but I've found it quite helpful and others say so too). Drink lots of fluids and keep flushing out your urethra that way. I have found that over the years, I have gotten less and less bladder infections. Part of it is due to all these steps I take to avoid them. But part of it is due to my body getting better at fighting off the bacteria.

I would easily get sore when having sex if I haven't had sex in awhile. Still do. Use lots of lube and foreplay to make it less sore. And when you have sex more regularly, it will be easier and hurt less.

So being prone to bladder infections should not be the end of your sex life! There is definitely lots of things you can do to help avoid them.

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