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I've been thinking about unfriending these awful former co-workers on social media, except for one. Any advice?

Tagged as: Friends, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (9 October 2014) 5 Answers - (Newest, 10 October 2014)
A female United Kingdom age 26-29, *nderdog writes:

I used to work in a not so nice place. The boss' where horrivle to staff, the working conditions were poor and the staff as lovely as they seemed the vast majority where extremely bitchy.

I worked predominately with 2 other girls. They were lovely to my face but we're horrible and veery mean about me when I wasn't around. They didn't treat me well and generally just made me do their dirty work. I eventually stood up for myself and I wasn't treated as bad but I was still spoke about badly and was always the one that picked up the work because they didnt want to/couldn't be bothered

I left about 2 months ago for another job. I have the people that in work with on facebook as they added me when I worked there anddidnt want to really cause drama. There was a point where I thought we were actually friends but I was naive. When I left one of the 2 girls that were horriblr about me added me on facebook but I didn't accept and felt extremely guilty.

I've been thinking about deleting the others just because I don't want them being in my business and frankly just want to move on from the place and seeing their status etc brings back a lot of horrible memories. But I can't shake the guilt from the thought of doubt it. Part of me doesn't want to (not even due to guilt) and either half does but feels guilty gor doing so.

I don't particulalrly like the people that were horrible to me for obvious reasons but I keep in touch with a colleague who I gelled with really well when she started a few months before we left, she goes through stages where she doesn't like them and then does and so I don't want to cause tension between us especially since she still works with them

Anyone offer advice?

View related questions: co-worker, facebook, move on

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A female reader, CindyCares Italy +, writes (10 October 2014):

CindyCares agony aunt Unfriend them without a second thought , and don't waste mental energy over this. Guilty about what ? you don't like them, they don't like you- end of story.

As for your mutual friend, if she is mentally normal, she understands that not everybody likes the same things and the same peiple . She probably would understand this simple fact of life even if you disliked her own sister or mother, imagine how much can she care if you unfriend two of her colleagues.

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A female reader, underdog United Kingdom +, writes (10 October 2014):

underdog is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Thank you for the replies. I guess I do need to stop overthinking things!

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A male reader, tinybutnotfangless Canada +, writes (10 October 2014):

tinybutnotfangless agony auntIf this is just a matter of feeling uncomfortable about ejecting people from your social media portals, then you can just create a different social media profile and add only the people you want, without worrying who you're going to piss off. However, this isn't really a solution, but an avoidance. In life, people must realize that everything we do will have some sort of consequence.

I suggest you learn to stand on your own two feet and remove them, keep your social media page and turn on your Privacy settings. If those people start gossiping about you, then that's their problem. If you're looking to move forward in life, then this is one of those moments in your life that you just need to learn how to remove yourself from.

In short: is letting others dictate how you live your entire life worth it? Is it not better to deal with the issue upfront, cut it loose now, than to let it linger on and on and on?

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A male reader, CMMP United States +, writes (10 October 2014):

I have some advice: stop over thinking things and stop worrying so much. They probably won't even notice you're gone, it's not like fb has an 'unfriendly' notification.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (10 October 2014):

Honeypie agony auntUnfriend them and never look back, honey. Don't keep toxic people around in your life.

They are nasty people and they won't care.

Let em go!

Enjoy life!

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