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I've been shot down twice asking someone to the prom, why is everything going so wrong?

Tagged as: Dating, Teenage<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (27 March 2008) 4 Answers - (Newest, 30 March 2008)
A male United States age 30-35, *oviefan writes:

Ugh, well i have been trying this week to find a prom date. Well my first attempt well i got shot down and she couldnt say it to my face, and she isnt going with anyone else. This really hurt my hope of getting one, and now my friends are trying to help me, but so far my other friend made a mess out of it asking someone i didnt even know who it was without asking me, i was mad. I would at least like to see her before he did that. Didnt hurt her feelings or anything i just straightend things out explaining what happend. And then another friend asked someone he knew and she sayed no to my face....

Well i had given up on finding one mainly because im sick of being rejected and because my mood is jumpy because of a lot of things going on in my life right now. But some friends talked me into trying again today

Any tips for getting a date would be appreciated. Im getting so sick of failure when my friend who is one of the lowest people on the social food chain(not meaning anything mean), he admits it, has one and i dont, this doesnt help me feel any better about myself..

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A reader, anonymous, writes (30 March 2008):

It sounds like your only problem is timing!

If you can't find anyone, then going alone is still a good idea. I'm sure you will still have lots of fun!

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A male reader, Moviefan United States +, writes (30 March 2008):

Moviefan is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Moviefan agony auntWell I bought a ticket even thought i may end up just hanging with my friends. And i have asked my friends why i dont have luck with girls in this situation and told them to not sugar coat it, and they honestly dont know. Two of them were girls one likes me but has a boyfriend who im friends with and he is taking her so thats a no go so dont get any ideas. None of my friends understand why i cant get a date, and now i have a small mob of friends and people i know looking for a date for me, but one of my guy friends keeps making me look pathetic and i told him to stop but he didnt so he continues to make me look bad. And my personality is kind of shy but not to being anoying. And im calm and am very difficult to anger. Im not ugly, i have had many girls find me cute or attractive. And im usually the guy who doesnt get involved in making fun of people unless the honestly deserve it, example if someone attempts to jump a fence and tear there pants from the crotch down, deserve to be made fun of.

Well funny thing is i had my parents attempt to hook me up a year ago with a 19 year old daugther of a friend. I said no not knowing who she was but once i saw her i kicked myself in the ass.....She seemed nice and she was attractive. And it was her idea to attempt to date me.....

And i also had a few months were i had girls hitting on me and i still do but i seem to have the Harold Syndrome as i like to call it. Everyone almost that has liked me i was not attracted to at ALL.

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A female reader, Tisha-1 United States +, writes (27 March 2008):

Tisha-1 agony auntHi, I know its unfair that guys are expected to do the asking, they have to put their egos on the line and risk rejection. Stinks, doesnt it?

Do you know any girls who are just friends with you? There might be a girl who isn't in the most popular clique who would love to go to the prom but isn't getting asked because she isn't beautiful. Maybe you could ask a platonic girl friend to go with you. Some one who sits next to you in science lab or another class? The date doesnt have to be this big romantic fantasy; you probably would have more fun anyway with a girl who isn't expecting you to be prince charming! You could relax, and just enjoy light conversation with her!

Let us know how it goes, and don't take the impersonal rejection to heart, if they were asked impersonally, they'll respond the same way...

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A reader, anonymous, writes (27 March 2008):

I know so litle about you, and I think you might be better at this point to ask your friends; they know you best. If it is personal, something that might hurt your feelings, you need to be prepared for that, and ask your good friends to give it to you straight, that you really want to know.

This won't be easy for you or your friends, so think it over and make sure your ready to hear the truth.

You could even ask your friends to do it anonymously, just have a drop off place that only you and your friends know about, and when the deadline that is set by all, you pick up the notes.

Sometimes, some of us find the uniqueness in others and admire it. Sometimes though, we also know that others may not be as accepting of others, for what ever reason, immature or not.

I had a friend who was quite different looking then the rest at school. But I saw him as a friend that I would defend if he were in trouble. He had a great personality and was very smart. Some saw him as a geek, and it was a shame people cannot see pass this.

Sorry that I am implying something personal, but it sounds like your having problems and that you really don't understand the situation, and knowing friends will do everything to protect their friends feelings, that maybe they know something you don't. Whether rumor or fact, or something else, the girls available are to shy, there parents won't let them go. So ask just so that you can eliminate all avenues, and hopefully come up with a solution to get a date. How about brothers and sisters? Maybe they know someone. Even your parents might be able to help. I sure know my mom tried many times to hook me up with her friends daughters.

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