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I've been hiding it, how do I tell my mom and brother that I am gay?

Tagged as: Family, Gay relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (28 February 2011) 5 Answers - (Newest, 4 March 2011)
A male Lebanon age 30-35, *K1 writes:

hello ,

okay i am not quite sure how to ask this question , but i am living in a constant battle with myself , so i figured if i asked total strangers who lived what i am living right now it will help me ...

See i had a rough year , i failed my last year in high school , my father passed away a day before my exams , and now i am livinvg with my mother alone , and i have a brother in france , ok i am gonna jump to the subject ....

I never told anyone before , but i am gay , i have been living a lie my whole life i am 19 , soon to be 20 . but i am sure that i am gay , i slept with girls a lot of girls to convince my self otherwise , but i am sure ...

So my question is how to tell my mother and my brother first !? plz plz plz reply !

P.S: next time i have question i'll keep it short ... i am sorry i am new to all of this ! thank you

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (4 March 2011):

You just take a deep breath and tell her - probably like you did with your best friend.

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A male reader, JK1 Lebanon +, writes (1 March 2011):

JK1 is verified as being by the original poster of the question

JK1 agony aunthey guys , thank you verry much ..

my mom is most definitely not homophobic , i tested her , asked her a couple of questions theses past 4 months , but i am just too scared to tell her , today for the first time ever , i tolled my best guy friend and he took it really good , that helped a lot , and all your answers helped me in a way that i never thought possible .. so thank you guys thank you verry much ... i'll keep you guys posted :D

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A male reader, Problem.helper United States +, writes (28 February 2011):

Problem.helper agony auntHow does your mom feel about gay people ? Is she homophobic ? Would she kick you out of house for this? If yes then I would wait saying anything until you will not depend on her. But if she would be cool with it then just sit her down and tell her that you are gay. Just get the courage and do it.

What worked for my bud was that he told his parents that I as his best friend am gay(I m not)just to see how would they react. Then he saw that their reaction is not negative about the subject and he told them that actualy he is gay not me. They took it pretty well.

I m sorry about your dad. I hope you will feel better.

Good luck to you

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A female reader, YouWish United States +, writes (28 February 2011):

YouWish agony auntIn my opinion, I would wait to come out until you are living self-sufficiently, meaning that you do not have to rely on your mom to support you. Finiah high school, Get into university, and be on your way to establishing your life. Then you can tell your mom and your brother, and their reactions won't have serious ramifications on your life.

Yes, you definitely must tell them the truth, but timing is everything. It is easier on everyone if you have left home so that your mom doesn't get mad and put you out, leaving you to fend for yourself without having the time to do things the right way.

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A female reader, StarryEyes101 United Kingdom +, writes (28 February 2011):

StarryEyes101 agony auntIt's the 21st century. People are gay! If they are loving and caring enough they'll understand. Come out. You obviously weren't happy with women, so don't make people happy by pretending you're straight when it's making you miserable.

I'm sure they'll understand and be happy for you even if it takes them a while.

But let them know as soon as. One at a time or together if that's possible. But don't hide it in any longer. It'll be a huge weight off your shoulders.

Be gay and proud. Some of the best people i know are gay =)

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