A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:what do i do on her birthday ??I split with my girlfiend after two years, i found she had been seeing someone else. I walk away caus no trouble, ask no questions. this was Jan. We work in the same building. Since then i have chatted tried to be friends or normal, but you always sense after the chat about evryday stuff, that if i see her on the corridor we are like back to ground zero. I have done things given her an opportunity to close the book completely, i realised she likes my attention and perhaps because of being cuaght out and getting my reaction she may be angry at me or herself, unless she talks i dont know but she/i have mentioned anything.I sense she cant or wont be a normal friend with me and too be honest as long as its like that i know there is something there, once shes indifferent then i know its truly gone.I have never been out of her life over he last few months so i know she thinks of me in the way " im always there and she knows or feels she doesnt have to do anything" and i relise this.My question is this i care about her and do forgive her but i know she has to forgive herself. However my dilemma is thsi.. it is her 40th Birthday at the end of July.. What do i do, do i buy a card, txt, present or nothing. I want maximum impact with wahtever, but at the same time i dont want her thinking im always going to be there. Anyone suggest?? I have no idea if she is seeing the other guy, though if she is what i know i of him, he will probably at the most just wish her happy birthday...
View related questions:
my ex Reply to this Question |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, deejuliet  +, writes (11 July 2008):
 I can agree with Smiles. While I personally think a real card would be ok, an e card would certainly be sufficient.
A
female
reader, Smiles  + ♥, writes (10 July 2008):
 Sorry Aunts; I disagree with you both; nothing more then an E-card; just to say "haapy Birthday"; purely just to let her know you remembered and are thinking about her;
NOTHING MORE
Trust me; you will be wasting your money.
Lots of smiles
Best wishes
...............................
A
female
reader, deejuliet +, writes (10 July 2008):
I completely and vehemently disagree with Jelly (babewithbrains). Do NOT buy this woman a present of any kind. And, Excuse me!?, a nice necklase and earings is not a simple, inexpensive, I dont really care all that much present. It actually bespeaks highly of still caring very much! Absolutely, positively do NOT buy her a present. You will be giving her all the power, letting her know you still 'belong' to her. She will know that no matter what she does or does not do, you will always be there for her and love her and take care of her. She will then continue to take advantage of you forever. If you want to wish her a happy birthday and perhaps pave to way to a friendship, I think a card is perfectly appropriate. Make sure it is cute or funny and not mushy. Perhaps add a nice personal note. But that is it! No gifts or you are a sap!
...............................
A
female
reader, babewithbrains +, writes (10 July 2008):
 Hi there,Well, I suggest something nice, not particularly cheap, but not extravagant. A nice necklace and earing set or something? You haven't said much about what she likes, but maybe you could get her a braclet? Or even one of these new cuff thingamybobs... I'm not that brilliant on fassion but it was on ten years younger the other day.... You obviously know more about her tastes than I do, but a nice simple gift, that doesn't look cheap is way better than going all out on something she mat not like. If you want her to know that you'll not always be there, you can smile at her, wish her happy birthday, but nothing more - keep it short!Hope this makes some sense...Jellyxxx
...............................
A
female
reader, Smiles + ♥, writes (10 July 2008):
I don't think you must waste to much time and effort on her; however, if you want her to know you do remember it is her birhday; send her a nice Happy Birthday E-Card,
Best wishes
...............................
|
