A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:I have feelings for my best friend and I'm really scared that I'll lose her if she finds out. She's bi, but I'm almost completely sure she doesn't think about me that way, and it's ripping me up inside. It's getting harder and harder to pretend that I don't have feelings for her, and I don't know what to do. Please help.
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reader, anonymous, writes (11 June 2014): It's important that the person you have feelings for have the same kind of feelings for you.
If she isn't showing any signs of interest beyond friendship toward you; it is better to just keep your feelings to yourself. Otherwise; you'll feel even worse if she doesn't.
Sometimes we feel like we have few choices. We get tired of looking for a girlfriend or a boyfriend; because it seems hopeless that we will ever find one. When we get impatient; we look for a quick and easy way. Suddenly we grow a crush on a friend:
1) Because it's easier when they already know us and finding other gay people is hard.
2) It is harder opening up to a stranger.
3) They know our quirks and faults.
4) We're too shy/lazy to go out on our own to meet new people.
This often will make your friendship awkward. They may not be attracted to you in the same way. Then once you admit how you feel; and they don't reciprocate, you feel embarrassed and foolish. They don't want to hurt your feelings, and they feel uncomfortable knowing you feel romantically attracted to them. You will be frustrated, and get jealous when they want to date other people. The friendship ends.
Maybe you are spending too much of your time with her, and not enough time with other friends. You have to learn self-control, or your feelings will be hurt every-time someone rejects your crushes.
You have to decide how important your regular friendship is, before blurting out your feelings. Just because she is bi and you're a girl; doesn't mean she has to feel romantic feelings for you. So many wonderful friendships get messed up like this.
If she never flirts, doesn't come on to you, and always treats you like a sister. That means that is all you will get from her. Go make some new friends and stop concentrating so hard on her. How will you handle it, if she doesn't have romantic feelings back at you? Think about that first.
A
male
reader, RevMick +, writes (11 June 2014):
 Hi,
I think at your age everything seems so huge and you are worried that you'll loose her as a friend. If she really is any type of friend at all I think she will think it's a compliment.
It can be hard going from friend to anything more, especially of one party doesn't feel anything other than friendship. The hard part is that you will never know unless you speak up.
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