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It's been five days and I haven't heard from him.. How can this be resolved?

Tagged as: Dating, Friends, Troubled relationships, Trust issues

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Question - (13 June 2017)

11 Answers - (Newest, 22 June 2017)

A female age 36-40, *hiteredwhite writes:

I've been dating my boyfriend for a year and a few months.

The relationship has been really rocky lately but we continued to try and work through it.

A couple of weeks ago we broke up because we have been arguing too much and he didn't seem to want to move in until another 3 years ( he doesn't pay rent where he lives and has a small apartment) at which point I would be 34 and my clock is ticking.

He called me right after to try and talk and a couple days later we sat and talked. He told he realized he was spending to much or his machines and also not giving me enough attention.

He said that he'd sell his atv although I never asked him to. He said that he'd be open to moving in together sooner than in 3 years.

He didn't go into details about what he would work and in return asked me what I'd work on in detail.

We fought again after that talk since he accused me of having certain intentions that I don't have when it comes to how he feels I treat him.

That night I wrote him a long email explaining what I could work on and what we could do to make the relationship work. I also listed a few things that I would no longer put up with. He told me he had read it but didn't aknowledge or respond in any way.

The next day I told him my friend K was going to help me get some couches and a bed frame from 2 different places that I found on a trading site. He got super upset that a man was going to helping me with that.

He was really annoyed so I told him he could help me instead and he was less angry after I said that.

He told me he would show up with dinner for both of us but didn't and never explained why or acknowledged that he hasn't.

He also told me he would get his dads truck but it didn't work out. He wanted to walk the bed frame to my house with me which was 5 blocks away and wouldn't fit in the truck.

He wanted to pick up 2 couches even though he had a closed back on the back of his truck. I didn't want to deal with walking a bed frame and having to figure out how to put couches in a truck with a closed back.

I didn't even know if I wanted the furniture anymore. I asked him if my friend Kyle could just help me instead and he got super annoyed. I then said that I just didn't want to go anymore and he told me I had no choice and that I had to go get the couch and bed frame.

I kept saying no but he insisted.

I believe this is because he wanted to make sure my friend k wouldn't have to help me another day.

I didn't get the bed frame since I didn't like it.

He managed to get the couchs on top of his truck and strapped them on. We finally got the couches into my house and I said I was glad but that I didn't Want to get the couches.

He told me that if I was with my friend K that I would have gone and followed through.

My friend K has a normal truck without a closed back so that may have been true but I also may have canceled as well since I wasn't used to trading sites and wasn't sure it I wanted to follow through with it.

He told me I was ungrateful and that he was hurt. I got pretty upset and stating yelling because he was accusing me of being different around me friend K and he stormed out.

Later we spoke on the phone and I apologized for being rude about the truck situation And he told me that he was still hurt. He told me that he would call me the next the morning.

I later sent him a text saying that next time I don't want to do something that he shouldn't force me to do it. I also said in the text that I'd appreciate a response from the email that I sent him a few days ago.

He still hadn't acknowledged me at that point. Been 5 days and I haven't heard from him since.

View related questions: broke up, text

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A female reader, aunt honesty +, writes (22 June 2017):

He sounds very immature. He doesn't have the decency to end things with you so he chooses to ignore you, how grown up off him. Honestly the best thing that you can do is block his phone number and social media and email and move on with your life.

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A female reader, Ciar + ♥, writes (15 June 2017):

He's not really interested in this relationship but doesn't want to be the bad guy so he manipulates you into thinking you're in the wrong.

You know what he is.

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A female reader, Whiteredwhite +, writes (15 June 2017):

Whiteredwhite is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Thanks for your help everyone. It's helping move on in a more peaceful way ??

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A male reader, N91 +, writes (15 June 2017):

Do you think this is how someone who loves you would treat you? At like a spoilt brat and not contact you for 5 days? Surely someone who loves you would want to resolve whatever problems you have as soon as possible.

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A female reader, Whiteredwhite +, writes (14 June 2017):

Whiteredwhite is verified as being by the original poster of the question

I broke and called him late last night. He told me that he was mad that I sent him a text saying that next time I don't want to do something that he shouldn't force me to do it. He said that text was basically me saying fuck you to him. I said no, that was me standing up for myself. He said that I do enough of that. I senses the conversation by saying not calling for 5 days is really cruel and the phone call ended.

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A female reader, Ciar + ♥, writes (13 June 2017):

Whiteredwhite, he has what's most important to him right now. Rent free accommodations and the money to spend on himself.

Even if he moved in with you right now, you'd have to put up with him and his nonsense while trying to raise children.

I think your future children deserve better than for you to settle for an adolescent boy for a father.

Let this one go. He's not a keeper.

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A male reader, N91 +, writes (13 June 2017):

I think that's the least of your worries.

You two just aren't on the same page and I think you're wasting your time with this guy.

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A female reader, Whiteredwhite +, writes (13 June 2017):

Whiteredwhite is verified as being by the original poster of the question

He also told me he would not longer be selling his atv after a few days when he said he would. I feel like this was just an empty promise

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A male reader, N91 +, writes (13 June 2017):

Take this as the relationship is over.

He sounds like a child and does nothing but let you down from what I can gather.

To me the whole relationship sounds toxic, nothing but arguing. You described nothing positive about it so what exactly are you staying for?

He doesn't sound what you're looking for in life right now at all so I'd advise you drop him out of your life, block him from contacting you and find someone that you're compatible with.

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A female reader, janniepeg +, writes (13 June 2017):

Before you want to resolve this, you have to be honest and figure out if you are okay with the possibility that you would never have children with him in case he does not make enough money in the future. He is not sure if you can be happy enough with the limited things he can give you. There is nothing wrong with having a male friend help you, although Kyle has become a symbol which is threatening to him. He represents what you are going to do if you were to break up with him. That you are going to a male with more resources. He begrudgingly helped you just so that Kyle wouldn't have to do it. You two may not be best suited for this relationship but at the same time you are not ready to let it go. He doesn't have a heart for this anymore but is just hanging in there so he doesn't have to deal with the pain of knowing you would be with a guy better than him. It's frustrating that after 3 years there's still no talk of living together or marriage. Never mind you, he's frustrated too, seeing you trying to hide your impatience. You don't have to accept his non communication and not following up promises such as dinner and replies. Most of the resolving has to come from him, and he's being very slow to match up with your expectations.

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A female reader, Whiteredwhite +, writes (13 June 2017):

Whiteredwhite is verified as being by the original poster of the question

I forgot to add that a few days after he said he'd sell his atv he told me that he actually wouldn't. I never asked him too but I felt like once he got me talking to him again he changed his promises.

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