A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Months ago I made mistake of expressing interest in a work colleague by giving him my number but he never called/texted then exaggerated/lied as to why he didn't call.I felt little embarrassed but no big deal.I tried to be still friendly and cordial when our path crossed but he was clearly uncomfortable and standoffish.The thing,I was already thinking about leaving the company in the near future since i hate my job but he ended up beating me to the punch and left because the person he was replacing came back from martenity leave--His postion was temporary.So I decided to stay untill i finish school.However,it became apparent months later that he didn't leave the company--he started working opposite shifts instead when his position expired.Last week he had to come back to the same shifts as mine because he had to replace someone who is on 2 week vacation.Nedlessly to say,you could cut the tension with the knife.It was awkward as hell and he completely avoided eye contact.I tried initing a small talk to ease the awkwardness but the converation felt forced Having said that,I just got a job offer at a different facility but different department(what I'm going to school for)I accepeted it and starting training this week .I want to work 2 places so ideally i also wanted to apply the place i'm currently working for the department i went to school for.So that way i will have back up job.However,I contemplating weather i should just quit working for this company all together and look somewhere else for a second job to eliminate any chances of running into him.I now feel uncomfotable around him.It seems like he feels awkward so i sense that and start feeling awkward in return.I just want to start fresh somehwere else without this mess i created for myself.I feel like the dynamic is changed foreverI don't really need the extra money but was thinking to keep this job as back up.I can look elsewhere for a second job so I was wondering if just leaving this place will be better for me since I won't have to see him around and deal with the awkwardness. Would you leave if you were in my shoes?
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female
reader, Honeypie  + ♥, writes (4 February 2017):
 OP don't be embarrassed.
Nothing ventured - nothing gained.
Sometimes we read people wrong, it happens. I have seen SO many posts on here where people ask IS this guy/girl interested or are they JUST being friendly? Most of the time it seems like there is a bit of a disconnect for many people because they don't socialize in the same ways as we used to, IN person - so it can be harder to really read people.
My guess is, you misread him. AND that happens! Nothing to be ashamed of or embarrassed over. If he had just been a guy in the coffee shop it would be easy to avoid him where as a coworker, not so much.
It takes guts to ask someone out or make the first move. So no need for embarrassment. Just ignore ignore ignore. And when you are secure in your new job you can either let this one go (the job) or keep ignoring him and keep it as your side job.
Who is he that you NEED to change your life around so HE won't feel AWKWARD!?
Chin up and let it go!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 February 2017): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you guys for your insights. I actually prefer this new place as it is newer building and things are more organized than the place I'm currently working. I would just prefer to start fresh and stay long-tern at this new place
As for now I'm still training at the new place so I'll still keep my current job until I pass the probation period at this new job then I will leave this company
The truth of the matter is, seeing him sucks and I still feel embarrassed behind close doors even though I try to put a brave face when I see him to ease the awkwardness. I just want to put this behind me and be in new environment .And I learned my lesson ,I will never attempt to make romantic-connections or seek dates at the workplace again.
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A
male
reader, Billy Bathgate +, writes (3 February 2017):
If you like the job why quit. From what I read you did nothing wrong. Ignore him and only initiate contact if it is business related.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (3 February 2017):
I wouldn't leave either, I would, however, ignore him 100%. No more being nice and/or cordial. No point.
If he has an issue with you showing interest a LONG time ago still, that is HIS issues and there is nothing you can do to change that.
Learn from this, "no shitting where you eat" ( or the less crude version... no trying to look for romance in the workplace).
If at some point the other job you have been offered is what you prefer to do, then YES leave this job and go for it - but DO NOT leave a job over a guy who feels awkward that you showed interest.
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (3 February 2017):
 No I don't think I would leave. I mean you are both adults, if you have gotten over it then why can't he? You showed interest no big deal. He needs to just get over it. Don't let him dictate where you can and cannot work. But yourself first.
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A
female
reader, singinbluebird +, writes (3 February 2017):
 My advice is stop being friendly and cordial and leave that job asap. He's clearly not comfortable even being around you so far as to change his shift and lied that he quit! He is avoiding you at all cost and to him. Hes treating you so awful and handling the situation like a 5 year old. He's making it so clear he despises being around you and may assume you are a stalker/nuisance.
Sweetheart, RUN. Do not even stay in that company, just walk away. You sound amazing for being the bigger person, for trying to still be cordial, and for realizing it was a mistake to show him interest. I think youve grown a lot. Forgive yourself and let it go. But dont think that he deserves that cordial or friendly side of you, hes not. He doesnt even feel comfortable making eye contact.
Ignore him completely, do not even look or smile and talk to him. Thats a chapter that ended. From personal experience where I felt that a man is avoiding me, I do not try to act nice anymore. He doesnt want you to be nice to him. Do as what others do to you in this case, IGNORE HIM AND AVOID HIM AT ALL COST. Walk the other away, avert your eyes, stay away from his area. I have experienced that if you continuously treat someone like the way they treat you (given that they did not want your friendliness), then somehow these people respect you and come to want to even friend you again.
I have similar experiences with coworkers who were rude and thought my politness was interest. It made me treat them like they treated me (I ignored them, I made friends with other people, I made sure they knew I didnt like them by telling a few people but everyone knew I was the sweetest person at that job, and I WORK HARDER and focused 100% at my task). Guess what happened? They respected me, started hanging around my area more, and when I left one of them expressed sadness.
In your case, I'd leave as soon as I get another job. Leave and dont look back. Focus on getting a relationship outside of work only, please avoid dating coworkers. Good luck!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 February 2017): Honestly I would not leave, why is the situation awkward anyway? Are you going to leave everytime a situation at the workplace becomes what you didn't anticipate.
Both of you are adults if he is the one acting up on you, then I say it's his problem don't be bothered by his feeble mind.
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A
female
reader, Youcannotbeserious  + ♥, writes (3 February 2017):
 In your shoes I think I too would be tempted to leave, especially if there were other options.
This situation has had months to settle down but still appears to be awkward. It is causing you unnecessary stress. You have other options available to you which would provide you with a fresh start and, hopefully, less stress.
You are young, you have the rest of your life ahead of you. People your age change jobs regularly until they find one where they are happy longer term.
I would say, take the other job being offered. I am sure you will feel relieved once you leave.
Good luck.
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