A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Here's the deal.. my boyfriend keeps hinting about how he thinks it's fine for girls and guys to be "friends". I get that, I understand that, I know it's healthy for a relationship. But.. here's my problem ... he only has one male friend and the rest are all female. In the beginning when we were dating, he would talk to them on the phone constantly and text them all the time. I'm talking about a dozen girls.. and he's been with all but two of them. Some of these girls know I exist, some do not. Some of these girls have zero morals/values, and are known homewreckers. Some of them know about me, but still send him naughty self naked pics. (and he answers them, like it's no big deal!) We live together, and are planning on being engaged by the end of the year. Occasionally, he brings up wanting to go out on nights by himself with his "friends", meaning these girls. (Most of them I have not met.) He is talking about going to bars, shooting pool, dancing with some of his exes (girlfriends and booty call girls).He does not see anything wrong with it. I do, have voiced my opinion in the past and then he will see my side, drop it... a month of two will go by, and he will still bring it up. And he gets angry when he brings it up. I just don't feel these are "proper" friendships. He flirts with them via text, talks about the girls boobs to them, etc etc... He wants to still stay in contact with all these girls .. I do not see a reason why ... and this sort of thing is a deal breaker for me. I wish he had more male friendships, or proper female friendships... I just don't know what to do anymore....I have told him before that if you want to be with other people, then go..we will break up and he can be on his merry way bed hopping and the like... but he keeps insisting he wants to be with me and only me. When he gets drunk he tells me he fantasizes about swinging and being with other girls.... I just don't want to be wasting my time. I bring a lot to the table in the relationship .. I support him financially, watch his kids, his mother etc... we are happy day to day, but every now and then it concerns me that deep down he wants to be with other people...
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female
reader, loraemoon  +, writes (9 July 2010):
 i can see your concern,i so understand were you are coming from, hes got no respect for you at all, i know people have friends male and female but to say hes actually been with them ect would deffo ring the alarm bells if hes wanting to still hang out with them ect,to me that would be a very big problem,right or wrongly i dont know, you are being strong and trusting him but why is he flaunting it all in front of you,why would he tell you he fantasizes abt otherwomenif hes inlove with you he would respect you enough not to do that
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