A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My friends make me feel like still being a virgin is something to be ashamed of. most if not all have had sex before and whenever they bring it up they always make it sound like whoever hasn't yet is either ugly or an outcast...it's not like i haven't had the chance to have sex, i'm just not ready and i don't want to make a mistake and be haunted by a bad experience.....people always bash those who say they want to wait..they say it's an excuse as to why they haven't had sex yet or that if they expect it to be special they're wasting their time, but for me it really is the truth, i want to wait for the right person....so are all those people telling the truth? should i just go with the mases and find the first one that'll have sex with me and go for it? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 March 2010): To be honest let them think what they want. It is your body and when you feel comfortable and ready then go for it. I am 24 and still a virgin. I am proud to be a virgin and who don't like it can kick rocks.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (20 March 2010): Girl,
There is nothing to be ashamed of your virginity. In fact you need to proud of it. Best thing is that Guys love it to break, but plz do not go in to haste. It is good trial to see that whether your BF is serious about you or just wants to use and you and then leave you. So do not loose it till your wedding night.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 March 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthanks so much for the advice...really. It's nice to know that i'm not wasting my time or being ignorant about wanting to wait..
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A
male
reader, The Gentle Man  +, writes (18 March 2010):
 It's nothing to be ashamed of. Your friends are either:
1) Still virgins who are talking it up to save face and seem experienced and somehow mature
2) Not virgins who regret losing it in a whim
I never lost my virginity until I was 21. I had more than my share of opertunity, but I wanted someone I felt ready and comfortable with. Do not let your friends push you into anything.
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A
female
reader, Miamine +, writes (17 March 2010):
 Your angry because people judge you for your virginity, you have every right to be angry. They are not wrong for having sex as long as they are over the age of consent, and you are not wrong for wanting to wait untill you feel it's right for you and meet the right person.
The best way to enter into sex is in the arms of someone who you love and also loves you and treats your nicely. If these conditions are not met, then sex is mostly unsatisfactory and can cause regrets later.
There should be no problem here, they live their life the way they want to, and you live it the way you want to. Being a virgin dosen't make you a better person, but then again a lack of virginity dosen't make you a bad one. What makes someone immoral is forcing them to choose a lifestyle that they do not feel comfortable with.
Wait until your in love and are loved back, that's the best way to practice sex safely in happiness. You can only live your life and therefore tell other people to mind their own business as you are not them and you wish to do what pleases you best.
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A
female
reader, Lexie88  +, writes (17 March 2010):
 Stick to what you believe in...I think you're on the right path. Virginity is something very personal and you need to stand up for what you believe in. Don't listen to anyone else...it's your body and your choices. Have you ever thought that perhaps they're making you feel ashamed because they regret what they did and are jealous of someone who has enough strenght and self-respect to wait?
I think you have the right idea in waiting for the right person. You will know when you're ready and you will not regret it. Another thing that 'waiting' will do is weed out the guys who are only after you for sex. The guy who sticks around when you make it clear that you want to go slow is the guy to concentrate on.
I agree with CaringGuy, losing your virginity to someone who cares about you is the way to go. It makes you feel good about yourself and does not errode your self-esteem.
I, like you, waited. There were plenty of opportunties but it wasn't worth it. Many guys dropped me because I wouldn't sleep with them soon. While that hurt, it was a good way to weed out the guys who only wanted one thing. When it finally happened I was with someone who was with me for ME and I've never regretted a thing. I'm still with him.
I hope you stick to your beliefs. You'll be better off in the end.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (17 March 2010):
In ten years time, when you're with someone you really love, and who you know loves and cares for you, you will feel great that you did not lose your virginity to someone who didn't care at all. In ten years time, they may well regret it. So what if you're a virgin? You're not an outcast, and there's nothing wrong with you. There is no rush to losing it. Better to lose it to someone who cares.
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