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Isn't throwing out one's gf, unacceptable under any circumstances? Feedback needed.

Tagged as: Dating, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (16 February 2006) 9 Answers - (Newest, 21 February 2006)
A female , anonymous writes:

My boyfriend threw me out at a party we gave for friends at home; just because I replied what he perceived as sarcastically to a question I felt insulted by him asking since it belittled me ; now we are apart;

I feel hurt and utterly mortified he went this far; this incident was the culmination of a bad week where we were having many rows about minor things ; I'm scared of his temper since he shouts and goes mad every time we argue ; or I get the silent treatment for days on end; he physically pushed me out when he kicked me out! I was consumed by anger when he did this and I actually retaliated by tearing up all our photographs ;before I walked out. This is not normal behaviour for me but something inside me just broke ..

Surely throwing me out is unacceptable under any circumstances? I think he was trying to assert himself in front of our friends because I am not a stepford wife who just sits there and is non confrontational; I speak my mind; is this so bad? Should I forgive and forget and go back or just move on? We were together three years; although had frequent arguments; we havent spoken since the incident; I am still shocked at what happened...thanks for your feedback.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (21 February 2006):

Thanks for your support and advice; you've all been a great help .. I've gone through periods of total apathy and zero energy ; trying to get myself together after the shock to my system of going through this and every day I'm getting better; focusing on the positive and looking forward to a better life without him in it .. its not easy but I know its for the best and time will heal ; thanks again for your support and advice .

x

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A female reader, amandairene +, writes (18 February 2006):

His behavior was both demaning and a total lack of respect. So to speak, he might as well have hit you, as he has already humiliated you and assaulted and abused you in front of other people. That is unforgiveable. Move on before it's worse.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (17 February 2006):

Wow, Smeedle really wants to get her point across! Haha... j/k 8]

That was awesome you fought back. That was very ungentlemanly that he exerted. At the very most, he should have just told you off to the side that he didn't like what you were saying, or the very least, joked back towards you in your semi-sarcastic remark. My lun! How inconsiderate and how sensitive he is! And I thought I was sensitive! 8P

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A female reader, smeedle United Kingdom +, writes (17 February 2006):

smeedle agony auntGood for you, when you torn up the pics you torn up your relationship and lets face it, the bloke is a nasty peice of work, he is manipulative, domineering and basically a peice of dirt.

No one has the right to put you down, we are all allowed freedom of speech. He should not have thrown you out (do you pay any part of the rent because if you do and you can prove it, he cannot throw you out easily!!)

He did not have the right to shove you and to do this in front of his friends is just showing what a "big man" he percieves himself to be, bet his friends think he is an idiot.

Do you have anywhere to go, if not go and register with the homeless section of your local authority, they will put you on the housing list and give you a list of hostels and B&B`s (not ideal but better than the streets)

See a solicitor as you have lived together 3 years so have possibly paid utilities, rent etc get advice, solicitor of CAB (they are free).

Dont let him get away with this, if you have rights claim them!!

Do not go back to him under any circumstances as your relationship was all over bar the shouting long before the night of the party, lets face it you are not a match made in heaven, so go find yourself a nice guy.

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A female reader, smeedle United Kingdom +, writes (17 February 2006):

smeedle agony auntGood for you, when you torn up the pics you torn up your relationship and lets face it, the bloke is a nasty peice of work, he is manipulative, domineering and basically a peice of dirt.

No one has the right to put you down, we are all allowed freedom of speech. He should not have thrown you out (do you pay any part of the rent because if you do and you can prove it, he cannot throw you out easily!!)

He did not have the right to shove you and to do this in front of his friends is just showing what a "big man" he percieves himself to be, bet his friends think he is an idiot.

Do you have anywhere to go, if not go and register with the homeless section of your local authority, they will put you on the housing list and give you a list of hostels and B&B`s (not ideal but better than the streets)

See a solicitor as you have lived together 3 years so have possibly paid utilities, rent etc get advice, solicitor of CAB (they are free).

Dont let him get away with this, if you have rights claim them!!

Do not go back to him under any circumstances as your relationship was all over bar the shouting long before the night of the party, lets face it you are not a match made in heaven, so go find yourself a nice guy.

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A female reader, smeedle United Kingdom +, writes (17 February 2006):

smeedle agony auntGood for you, when you torn up the pics you torn up your relationship and lets face it, the bloke is a nasty peice of work, he is manipulative, domineering and basically a peice of dirt.

No one has the right to put you down, we are all allowed freedom of speech. He should not have thrown you out (do you pay any part of the rent because if you do and you can prove it, he cannot throw you out easily!!)

He did not have the right to shove you and to do this in front of his friends is just showing what a "big man" he percieves himself to be, bet his friends think he is an idiot.

Do you have anywhere to go, if not go and register with the homeless section of your local authority, they will put you on the housing list and give you a list of hostels and B&B`s (not ideal but better than the streets)

See a solicitor as you have lived together 3 years so have possibly paid utilities, rent etc get advice, solicitor of CAB (they are free).

Dont let him get away with this, if you have rights claim them!!

Do not go back to him under any circumstances as your relationship was all over bar the shouting long before the night of the party, lets face it you are not a match made in heaven, so go find yourself a nice guy.

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A female reader, smeedle United Kingdom +, writes (17 February 2006):

smeedle agony auntGood for you, when you torn up the pics you torn up your relationship and lets face it, the bloke is a nasty peice of work, he is manipulative, domineering and basically a peice of dirt.

No one has the right to put you down, we are all allowed freedom of speech. He should not have thrown you out (do you pay any part of the rent because if you do and you can prove it, he cannot throw you out easily!!)

He did not have the right to shove you and to do this in front of his friends is just showing what a "big man" he percieves himself to be, bet his friends think he is an idiot.

Do you have anywhere to go, if not go and register with the homeless section of your local authority, they will put you on the housing list and give you a list of hostels and B&B`s (not ideal but better than the streets)

See a solicitor as you have lived together 3 years so have possibly paid utilities, rent etc get advice, solicitor of CAB (they are free).

Dont let him get away with this, if you have rights claim them!!

Do not go back to him under any circumstances as your relationship was all over bar the shouting long before the night of the party, lets face it you are not a match made in heaven, so go find yourself a nice guy.

<-- Rate this answer

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A female reader, smeedle United Kingdom +, writes (17 February 2006):

smeedle agony auntGood for you, when you torn up the pics you torn up your relationship and lets face it, the bloke is a nasty peice of work, he is manipulative, domineering and basically a peice of dirt.

No one has the right to put you down, we are all allowed freedom of speech. He should not have thrown you out (do you pay any part of the rent because if you do and you can prove it, he cannot throw you out easily!!)

He did not have the right to shove you and to do this in front of his friends is just showing what a "big man" he percieves himself to be, bet his friends think he is an idiot.

Do you have anywhere to go, if not go and register with the homeless section of your local authority, they will put you on the housing list and give you a list of hostels and B&B`s (not ideal but better than the streets)

See a solicitor as you have lived together 3 years so have possibly paid utilities, rent etc get advice, solicitor of CAB (they are free).

Dont let him get away with this, if you have rights claim them!!

<-- Rate this answer

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (17 February 2006):

Forget that!! He's the one who screwed up here..no one should be expected to sit back and take that crap! Good on ya for sticking up for yourself if you dont have some respect for yourself then he sure wont...doesn't sound like he's got much as it is! How humiliating getting thrown out..who's house is it anyway? Maybe he can leave! I think you did all the right things so far - Where does he get off? I hope his friends were impressed and it was really worth losing you for!! Try to get on with your life , he sounds like one of those guys who would be sitting around waiting for you to come crawling back to him to say sorry-DONT DO IT!! he owes you the apology i'm sure he'll realise that in time if u make it at least look like life is much better without him. Stand your ground and he should see that you wont allow yourself to be treated this way by him or anyone...if he comes to you with apologies - then great- its up to u then if u could be bothered with such a "man" and maybe he'll think twice next time he wants to boost his ego by bringing u down...and if he doesn't then your probably better off without him...if he cant see that he's in the wrong and should apologise to u, then thats his problem i doubt he'd find anyone else that would put up with that sort of crap. You sound like a smart woman - you deserve better - if you cant get it from him - move on...find someone else who deserves you and treats you with the respect you so obviously deserve!! dont give in to any sorry's that aren't truly felt by him either, will u? look after yourself too! hold your head high and keep that foot down wont u? good luck!!

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