A
male
age
,
anonymous
writes:Well been seeing this woman for about seven months,been staying at her house the whole time, I do own my own house, my daughter and granddaughter live there, my house, I don't know what to do we get along good most of the time, but she snaps at me for little things, like shutting a door too hard, a little coffee mate on the counter, which I clean up, you see , after getting dumped the last time, year in a half ago, I said to my self little red flags are big red flags from then on, I help a lot but don't like being treated like a kid, I really do clean up after my self, I felt like last night, just packing my stuff and leaving, , my gut says it might be the time to go, but I know when you live with someone, you have little tiffs, another thing I ask her not to do but she does it any way, she smokes in the car when my two year old granddaughter in it, and me, I never have smoked, thanks
View related questions:
smokes Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (5 September 2017):
 I would not allow her to smoke in your car when you have the child. If she went to light up a cigarette then I would stop the car and ask her to get out and I am not joking. Is it her car? If so then stop taking your innocent grand daughter in it.
I think you need to give each other some space, the snapping usually happens once you are spending to much time together. A little space goes a long way and moving in together so soon might have been a bad idea. Maybe move back to your own house and go back to spending time together outside off her home. Take it slower.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 September 2017): Smoking in car with you in it = very rude
Smoking in car with child in it = complete disregard for anything other than herself
Why do you want to be with someone who is rude and has no regard for a 2 year old child?
...............................
A
male
reader, Riot2017  +, writes (4 September 2017):
Listen, 7 months is a very short time to know really well someone.Crazy girls don't show their true colors right away. They are shy and hide their craziness until you are so hooked up with them that you can't leave them.I can't tell if she is one of those girls or not, but just keep looking at the red flags. If you see a pattern in which her snapping outs start to increase in frequency and size, I think it's time to move out.For me, having a woman smoke with my kinds and grandfather on a car is NOT COOL, and it's a big red flag, specially if it's being done repeatedly. A woman that disregards the health of your children and the elderly shows that has a lack of empathy to other persons. So just be aware pal, so far it's not looking well.Best luck!
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (4 September 2017): If she didnt snap at you when you first started seeing her, but only after a few months, than i would say that you are spending too much time together...staying at her house for seven months??? Why?? You have your own place...Maybe her womanly charms have your head screwed up?? A womans power over man is very strong but you have to realize that no matter how good it is its not worth the aggravation shes giving you...give her some space and then evaluate the situation..theres plenty of fish in the sea...
...............................
A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (2 September 2017):
 I think you need to give each other a little space. You said that you practically moved in with her. So maybe have a chat with her. Stay at her house 4-5 days out of the week and have 1-2 days where you do YOUR things, she does HER things.
That way you each get a little space as well.
I would also set boundaries. Like NO smoking in YOUR car. It's not a bad rule at all.
And yes, when you live with someone you DO have little tiffs. It just depends whether you find her reaction to whatever you did "wrong" OK or over the top.
Mostly though, you NEED to learn how to talk about things with her. Because this is not you do everything wrong or she does everything wrong. This is a case of ADAPTING to each other's idiosyncrasies, habits, likes and dislikes.
...............................
A
female
reader, NORA B +, writes (2 September 2017):
Well you sound a reasonable man, and the way she is snapping at you is uncalled for .Her disregard for you and your 2 year old granddaughter re- smoking in the car is a disgrace.However would you consider having an indept chat with her on the issues mentioned.There is a proper and calm way of asking soneone to do something....and certainly Not snapping....this is totally OUT OF ORDER .However regards smoking in car/or anywhere you are with your granddaughter.on this issue you will have to be very firm,telling her...NO SMOKING ALLOWED...Hopefully she will understand this on a health issue.If not it might be time to consider meeting and making new friends .Kind Regards NORA B.
...............................
|
