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Is this too much to ask? I just want to meet, love, enjoy that one guy who'll change my life for the better

Tagged as: Big Questions, Dating, Gay relationships, Teenage, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (21 October 2012) 2 Answers - (Newest, 29 October 2012)
A male United States age 26-29, anonymous writes:

When will it be my turn to find love?

Am I really that undesirable? I mean I know I'm only 17 but it's so sad and depressing being alone. It's already hard enough being gay, but having to hide who you really are with absolutely no one to confide in sucks.

I feel so confined, like I'm caged.

And when I see that everyone around me has someone...they all have someone to care about them, to hold them, to love them, to give them a shoulder when things get dark.

But I'm just here like a lone satellite, just orbiting around, picking up everything but not really included.

After thinking about; I'm a wallflower but the perks aren't so great. I just want to meet that one person that'll change my life for the better.

Whether it's a boyfriend or just a good friend, I'm kind of desperate at this point. I just really need someone in my life.

I'm tired of feeling broken, worthless and alone. Everyday it's a struggle to get out of bed. Even though things were never the best, I miss when I was younger, when I didn't have to over think things, and life wasn't so complicated.

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A male reader, Art99 United States +, writes (29 October 2012):

Hi, you'll be surprised at how many 'lone satellites' there are just like you, wandering around, wanting EXACTLY the same thing as you. Believe me it will come, just when you are least expecting it. You probably won't even realise it at the time that he is the one. Don't go expecting lightning bolts and choirs of Angels singing "Hallelujah". It will just be a simple "You alright?". Worthless!?!? You come across in your message as very nice, thoughtful and very eloquent. Small tip just for you (everyone else stop reading at this point) - Until you find each other (and believe me you will!) stay positive and confident. Even if you don't feel it, ACT it. People are attracted to confident and positive people. Get out there and find him. He might be at the cinema. He might be at the swimming pool. You won't find him while you're wallowing in your darkened bedroom (well that MAY happen later ;o) To cheer you up, why don't you read MY problem (search under imaginary) and see what COULD happen to you once you find him!! BEST OF LUCK and let us know when you find him.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (21 October 2012):

Listen, I know things are hard. But, if this helps any, I can relate. To be perfectly honest, I didn't have a boyfriend until I was 17, like a REAL boyfriend. Before that, I was used by guys all the time. I didn't have real friends. In high school, I had fake friends, they'd use me, and just cut all ties. Even my best friend who is gay, abandoned me for those dumb girls in high school, he'd just throw me aside. I've had this problem since 6th grade, I'd make a friend, they'd use me, and leave me. The feelings were unbearable! I felt so ugly and useless... But you know what I did? I changed. Because I felt so ugly, I dyed my hair, got colored contacts, cleared my face up, started wearing make up, and I felt better about myself, not saying that you need to dye your hair or anything of the sort, but so you understand my solution to my problem.

And I started putting myself out into the world. I felt like a new person, people didn't even recognize me. Now I have some friends, but I don't need a lot, but my BEST advice to give you is to always feel good about yourself. When you're confident about yourself, you'll be confident in life. Just be yourself too, you can't pretend to be someone else, and only make changes when you feel they're needed. Such as looks. NOBODY is perfect, it's impossible, and perfection is over rated, so don't try. But it's good to be outgoing, and to always be positive.

Don't worry about finding a lover, find a friend first.

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