A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I am 25 and have been with my gf for 5 years now, we are engaged and I feel as though our spark has gone. I love her more then anything else in the world and she is "in Love" with me. I don't think I'm in love with her any more, I take her for granted, don't really treat her for what she deserves. Should a relationship carry on this way? If we spilt up her world will be turned upside down and I don't want to hurt her. She is my best friend!!!!Our sex lifes are nearly non-exsistant either she doens't want it or me, and she knows something is up coz she asks if im in love with her still and I just answer saying yes so I dont hurt her. I dont think she believes me anymore.Our relationship is perfect apart from this, we get on brilliantly, the only thing missing is that spark, it sometimes comes back but only when I get it, and that's not that often. The only other thing that is different is I want to travel and start a new career, I meet her whilst I was in the armer forces and I have left now and I want to do something with my life but this will mean moving and that is out the question for her, she has close family connections and I don't. Please can people help I'm really stuck!!
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best friend, engaged, sex life, spark Reply to this Question
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (4 December 2008): I'm in a very similar situation, I'm 27, been with my fiancee for four years. I'm really stuck- not sure if things would actually work out better if we did break up or whether if we did I looked back and wonder why I threw it all away.Tough decision, sorry this isn't much of an answer, more of just some empathy. You're not alone feeling like this.All I'd say is don't be too hasty, relationships do have ups and downs, do everything you can to try and save it.I'll be watching this space myself...
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (3 December 2008): trust me all you can do to be happy is love your partner but keep banging as many women as you can behind her back!!!! that is the ONLY way you and your lady will be happy
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 November 2008): Hey, I am going through something very similar, actually my husband is in the forces, and he is my best friend in the world but unfortunately the spark just isn't there, probably because we got married so young. As I kept quiet about how i was feeling for so long, it has caused a lot more heartache now. My advise is to be honest with her, she may not thank you for it right away but you will hurt her more if you stay with her for the wrong reasons. Good luck xx
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A
female
reader, Gypsii  +, writes (27 November 2008):
It sounds as if you and your girlfriend are actually just good friends. To be only 25 and have no sexual agency in a relationship is a sign of a bigger problem. Please don't get married now because if you're already taking her for granted, then it will only get worse in marriage.
All behavior is a form of communication so it's clear that you're worried about hurting her but you know already that she's not the one for you.
Good luck and follow your heart!
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A
female
reader, petina1 +, writes (27 November 2008):
 You are just in a rut. Get away for the day, the weekend, anything. Put some lust and spark back in to it. Don't throw what you have away for something you may regret. Relationships do take time and go on a different phase every couple of years. If the sex isnt there, give each other a massage in a candle lit room, arrange it yourself, she will be impressed, buy her some flowers, enjoy each other. get a bottle of wine. If you have a crisis, think,, who will be there for you? hope this helps.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (27 November 2008): I swear I read this question earlier.
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