New here? Register in under one minute   Already a member? Login226281 questions, 984001 answers  

  DearCupid.ORG relationship advice
  Got a relationship, dating, love or sex question? Ask for help!Search
 New Questions Answers . Most Discussed Viewed . Unanswered . Followups . Forums . Top agony aunts . About Us .  Articles  . Sitemap

Is this normal after anal sex?

Tagged as: Health, Sex<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (25 August 2010) 10 Answers - (Newest, 26 August 2010)
A female United States age 30-35, anonymous writes:

My husband and i have been sexually active together for over 15 years. We enjoy it, and have sex 6-8 times a week. We're not porn addicts or sex addicts or anything, we just love sex. We have been having anal sex a lot more over the past few years. I am comfortable with it and enjoy it, as does he. Just recently though, we decided to make a little video of us..ahem..you know.!

It got pretty kinky, and we both got real into it. We took turns holding the video camera, and it was awesome. It wasnt until the next day however, when we watched the movie, when I was rather turned off by the anal part. I've never seen myself from that point of view, and honestly I wasnt 100% in love with how my "opening" looked after he was done. It did not come back to its original size for quite some time, and it looked gross.

Is this normal?? All of a sudden I have no desire to have anal sex for a while, as I certainly dont want long-term health issues associated with having anal sex. Maybe we'll just stick to using my girlie parts instead!

Thanks.

View related questions: anal sex, no desire, porn, sex addict

<-- Rate this Question

Reply to this Question


Share

Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question!

A male reader, Yos Netherlands +, writes (26 August 2010):

Yos agony auntThe last (anon) poster, just below this, is right. It's perfectly normal, and nothing to worry about. I suspect your husband finds it a turn on too.

However, if it grosses you out: well, it's up to you whether you want to continue doing it or not. Only do something you're comfortable with

<-- Rate this answer

A male reader, anonymous, writes (26 August 2010):

OK, first, y'all need to take some anatomy classes or something. Anal muscles and vaginal openings don't wear out like a set of car tires. They don't stretch to a point where the never return as long as you're not shoving farm implements up there. They may become a bit "broken in" but incontinence? Diapers? Get real. There is no way a normal sized penis...or even a large one, is going to cause permanent damage or permanently "set" muscles as long as lube is used and is goes OK. THe body is risilient...you're not made of Pla-doh. Second, if you get a lot of fecal matter on there...they make these things called enemas. Use one. If you want to bash the whole anal sex world because you dont know how to prepare, thats your problem. A lot of us know how to do it, and love it...women too.

Now, to answer the OP's question...yes, it is normal. The anus does not have labia, and it is a large, prominent sphincter muscle. When it stretches, especially in the doggy position, it does not return back to its original size for a while. This is a turn on for many men (I'm indifferent to it), adn in fact there is a whole niche in porn devoted to "gaping" as it's called.

I'm not a doctor, but I would even surmise that it might be GOOD to stretch it once in a while, just like it is good to stretch any muscle. As long as we aren't talking fists, eggplants, or tractor trailers, it's not going to cause permanent damage. Now if you bleed, have fissures or other lasting sores, then you may need to take it easy or use different lube.

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A male reader, daletom United States +, writes (26 August 2010):

You and your husband need to discuss this. Yes, I believe you can do some serious damage if you abuse the practice.

In both sexes there are a lot of nerve endings "back there" that are very pleasurable when stimulated after sexual arousal. Yes, I enjoy a little fingering and my wife likes to have the exterior of that opening stroked when she's on top. Most of us are socially conditioned to not admit that we enjoy it.

My wife and I had anal sex occasionally. She tolerated it, and offered it as a special treat. For me it was a deliciously tight sensation concentrated at the point of entrance, and quickly resulted in a very intense orgasm. And yes, she stayed open for several seconds after I withdrew. We gave it up after our last childbirth created the need for some repair work back there, and we were no longer able to get her relaxed and pre-stretched enough to avoid significant discomfort.

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A female reader, anonymous, writes (26 August 2010):

Most comments you got are ignorant. Its very normal to be streached for a bit. True you can damage things there but I asume you are not useing a baseball bat lol. If your relaxed there is less chance of damage. Just like anything anal in moderation is fine.

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A reader, anonymous, writes (26 August 2010):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Thanks for the responses. I haven't really said anything about it yet to him, I think he liked the movie, as he is the only one who ever sees me from that angle anyways, its nothing new to him. I think I was just a little taken off guard by what I saw..

And I didn't say it never hurt... It took a long time to get to where we are now. My husband is very patient and careful with my butt, and thats the only reason I allowed it in the first place. I'm not always in the mood for it, and there's actually been times we've had to call it off, because it just wasn't working. But then there are times, when it feels good. It's a different "good". Any other women out there who likes it sometimes, will know what I mean.

Thanks again.

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A female reader, person12345 United States + , writes (25 August 2010):

person12345 agony auntHey people, let's not judge here... Most men I've been with greatly enjoy a finger up the butt, and many women enjoy it as well. Same with the area being played with. Most women hate anal, but some enjoy it. But like everyone else said (I know I already answered) you can stretch out the muscle to the point where it won't return to shape and you will be in diapers for the rest of your life. That's a risk. You may want to stick with your vagina for sex and only use fingers in your butt.

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A male reader, anonymous, writes (25 August 2010):

On the off chance that you are sincere, I will answer the same as the others. Yes, your anus will recover as long as you do not make anal sex a regular practice. You will damage the muscle over time and stretch it out if you keep putting things in there that aren't what nature intended.

Now, the reason I am skeptical is that you said you were a woman and enjoy anal sex. That is an oxymoron.

I had anal sex once just to try it and was extremely disappointed. A vagina feels so much better. I got no sensation from my girl friend's ass and she had pain for a whole week after. I don't know what is the big thrill in anal sex. It's pretty nasty. I pulled out and had fecal matter on my penis. oooh wow, let's do that again, NOT.

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A female reader, person12345 United States + , writes (25 August 2010):

person12345 agony auntOccasional anal sex is fine. Your "girlie" parts expand and stay huge for awhile after sex too. You've just temporarily stretched things. It's normal, your skin is very elastic. There are some health risks with anal sex though, such as infection from not cleaning up well enough after. From frequent vigorous anal sex you can also do damage to your parts, so make sure you use lots of lube and don't go at it really roughly. So long as you're not having crazy anal sex every day, you'll be fine. They go back to normal. Our bodies are very resilient.

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A reader, anonymous, writes (25 August 2010):

Personally, I cant imagine how anyone would want to do it in the first place. The anal opening was not designed to have things inserted into it, rather to have things expelled. The more you stretch it, the less likely it is to return back to its original shape and size. Once you lose muscle control, you lose control of your bowel movements, possibly leading to incontinence and other horrible problems. Personally, I wouldnt even risk it once.

The vagina on the other hand, is adapted to this perfectly. It self lubricates, and can expand and contract when it needs to. I know which one I would rather use.

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A female reader, kittyl305 United Kingdom +, writes (25 August 2010):

kittyl305 agony aunthi, your feelings are perfectly normal. if you no longer desire to have anal just talk to your husband and explane how you feel. Just have sex how you feel most conformable doing it, sex is supposed to be pleasurable so do it how you want.

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

Add your answer to the question "Is this normal after anal sex?"

Already have an account? Login first
Don't have an account? Register in under one minute and get your own agony aunt column - recommended!

All Content Copyright (C) DearCupid.ORG 2004-2008 - we actively monitor for copyright theft

0.046875!