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IS this midlife crisis or have I fallen out of love with my husband?

Tagged as: Cheating, Faded love, Marriage problems, Sex<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (11 November 2008) 2 Answers - (Newest, 12 November 2008)
A female United States age , *issouri writes:

Help! I have realised that I dont love my husband anymore. I like him, hes a nice guy but theres no passion or interest. I dont know what to do as we are in a business together and after working so hard at the business I dont want to give up my portion. Youngest child is finishing her last year before going off to university. I do have everything I could wish for, a nice house [not fancy, comfortable] my own car, my dogs and my horses. Our sex life is not great since he has been diagnosed as hypertensive, although the doctor has perscribed viagra, when he does take it, I feel that there is so much pressure on me to perform. Sorry, Agony Aunts, I seem to be talking in circles here. My husband and I dont seem to have anything in common anymore, and I refuse to talk about work once I have finished for the day.

I dont have any interest in any other men although he was unfaithful to me a couple of years ago and we worked through that with a counsellor. I dont know if I am going into depression or what is happening to me. Can anybody give me some advice?

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A female reader, Missouri United States +, writes (12 November 2008):

Missouri is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Thank you for your replies. To answer your questions, we dont have hobbies that we can do together - I have horses he is allergic to horsehair & horse sweat, he flies aeroplanes, I hate heights! We used to be good friends, where we could talk and laugh together but that seems to have faded away too. He can be so nit-picky over silly things, like every morning monday to friday I make him breakfast and on weekends he makes me breakfast. On Saturday he moaned about making me breakfast, stupid I know, so I have stopped making him breakfast in the mornings - he must now make his own! I know this sounds so stupid but this is what we seem to be like nowdays. If I go out to the shop and dont put my destination down on the notice board at work then he draws huge big "????" in red next to my name. I just want to run away! I look forward to the weekends because then I can spend them alone with my horses. Oh, I dont have any close friends because whenever we have an argument he always blames them for 'putting ideas into my head' as if I cannot think for myself! Thanks for listening, feels good to vent sometimes!

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (11 November 2008):

It's natural to feel like you do after so many years of marriage.Do you guys have any hobbies together, do you like each other as friends? Don't stress about sex. Majority of married couples don't have frequent sex, and many long marriages are sexless. It's not as much fun as it could be, but really don't be that depressed about it.

If you don't want any desire to have sex at all, it could be your menopause. Consultation wih professional deffinitely will help. Good luck.

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