A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:How can you tell if what you feel is actual love, lust or just strong like? I met this guy in December and we have become friends, i met him when he had a gig in my town. we talk by email every couple days; and i go too his gigs once a month when they are in town. he lives 2 hrs away. he works as a labourer through the week, so we only see each other occasionally. Anyway he always comes and talks to me in between breaks. well recently I've started thinking i might love him. I can't stop thinking of through the day, myn though we heart won't stop beating when i see him, i get nervous and can't talk. even tho we talk by email. I've never felt this way about any guy before even my ex bfs. its causing me too lose sleep and not eat properly . help me please. is this love or lust? And if lust how do i stop it ??
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reader, anonymous, writes (20 April 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHe defiantly has not been in jail. There's a lot on the net bout him but omlu coz he in a local band. ny famous lol . And i did send him an email bout a month after we met, as a friends telling him i thought he was nice d funny and good looking. And all he said was thanks for all the nice things u Said, u defiantly put a big smile on my face . But that was before i felt this way.
A
male
reader, Glacier  +, writes (19 April 2012):
Well, I don't really agree with janniepeg.
You have been seeing him for months and only recently have your feelings become really strong. You seem to be seriously in love with him. Your symptoms indicate that. I don't think that's just lust.
You are possibly attracted to his pheromones sure and that could be a good start because it may indicate you two are a good match. It's actually important that you like each other's scent. Relationships sometimes fail because there's a mismatch in that area. Should you focus on a new date? I don't think so really. Not before you find out if your feelings are mutual. You should start by giving him signals you really like him. If that doesn't work then you might want to tell him in a subtle way about how you feel.
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A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (19 April 2012):
 It is lust. You stop this by realizing that he sees you as a friend and he won't reciprocate the feelings that you have for him. Once you focus your energies on a new potential date your crazy chemicals will subside. It is not love, it is merely chemicals. I have experienced this and I can tell you strong infatuation does not necessarily develop into a serious relationship. Why we feel this way towards a person and not others it's hard to explain. I would say you are really attracted to his pheromones. A real love relationship takes more than just chemicals to sustain.
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