A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I've known this guy for over 2 years now, we're very good friends.I did fall for him sometime ago (and I did tell him, we just had a very down to earth conversation about it), but we can't be together for whatever reason, anyway my feelings have settled down and it's now more of a warm fuzzy feeling. There's nothing flirty going on between us, we usually just have long chats, have a meal etc, but we do hug goodbye and he's always has very old world gentlemanly behavior .We only get to meet maybe once every 2 months at best (different cities). Saw him last week and it was as usual, but instead of our usual hug, he pulled me hard against him for a long time, and then kissed me very tenderly on the cheek couple of times. He looked at me, whilst still holding me tight, and then kissed me again the same way. I was in his embrace for quite a long time.Now I'm really confused. Bottom line is we can't ever be together, and he was the one who was strong about it (and he's never said or hinted he likes me romantically.) This behavior is really confusing, is he suddenly interested or it's just one of those tender affection type of gesture? He's also quite a bit older than I am.
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female
reader, eyeswideopen  +, writes (26 November 2012):
 I truly hate wasting any of the precious time I have on this earth if I can avoid it. Since you guys can NEVER be together then I would just settle for friendship and not count on anything else from him. If you are interested in finding a partner then you will need to keep looking.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 November 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for your answers.
To eyeswideopen, it's basically a social issue, we're from opposite ends of the social strata, so to speak. While it is the 21st century, it is still an insurmountable barrier in this society. His friends and family would label him a gold digger and ostracize him (and cradle snatcher, we have an 18 year age gap), not sure what my family would do. But bottom line, our families are very important to us as well, so it's not a resolvable situation. Being close friends is already causing some problems. Other practical issues would be our salary disparity etc. And we're not even from the same country, though I am in his at the moment.
To Cerberus, you're right... I guess I was just thinking if we should indulge ourselves a little, if he really did change his mind.
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (26 November 2012):
Just why exactly can't you ever be together?
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 November 2012): All your questions are irrelevant OP, this is the only thing that matters "Bottom line is we can't ever be together"
So if he tries that again push him away and tell him that's too much.
Seriously it's 100% pointless to analyze this. It could be anything. Maybe he wants you to be affectionate with him, maybe he was drunk, maybe he was feeling vulnerable, maybe he had a hard-on and wanted to rub it against your leg, who knows? It doesn't matter, this can't happen so you have to make sure he doesn't get too close or that warm fuzzy feeling will turn into love he'll hurt you.
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