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Is this how you become gay?

Tagged as: Gay relationships, Teenage<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (24 November 2008) 5 Answers - (Newest, 25 November 2008)
A male United States age 26-29, anonymous writes:

Hi, I have a major problem.

I am 14 turning 15 and my whole life I have been sexually attracted to women, I can tell you that. And it's not like because of the society I live in I liked girls to be like others, but I really liked girls. But starting this school year, I've noticed an attraction to men also. Now I didn't want to be gay but I knew that I was and always have been attracted to women so I thought I was just bisexual and I could stay with woman. But now as time goes by I feel I am becoming more gay and less heterosexual. I just want to know if this is some joke my brain is playing on me, if this is what happens when you become gay, or if I am just bi. Thank you!

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (25 November 2008):

Hey maybe you are gay and you just didn't know. Hormones awaken one to things they never knew of before!! Maybe you're gay, maybe you're bisexual however either way it doesn't really matter.

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A male reader, Good advice! United Kingdom +, writes (25 November 2008):

Do what you feel is right for you and not what others thing is right, that is a good moral for life and would serve many pepole well.

If you (like millions of other guys) like men, then so what? whos judging?

I hope you feel more confident after that :)

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A female reader, Teacake United States +, writes (25 November 2008):

Teacake agony auntWhen I was 12 I got crushes on anyone who was nice to me, male or female... teachers or neighbors. I never had sexual feelings at that age, but I always had a crush on someone.

Actually, I didn't know about straight or gay back then. I even had a crush on a friend when I was in my 20s. I think its natural to like people a lot without it being a sexual thing. I just now recall since it was so so long ago that kids experiment with their friends even if they are the same sex. So, don't worry! If you like girls, you will always like girls!

Maybe you're just thinking that since you like these boys, and because you're hormones are going wild that it means you might be gay.

Just keep it in your private thoughts and don't try it just to play it safe, as it can mess you up emotionally. I also hear that it is common for straight boys to masturbate in the locker rooms. That sort of grosses me out to think they do that, but boys just are overly sexual and I guess I feel sorry for them. lol

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A male reader, Jack_McVeigh South Africa +, writes (24 November 2008):

Jack_McVeigh agony auntok dude dont worry about it! i'm gay and i started to turn gay at around your age (14-15 ish). i dont believe that you choose your sexuality. i mean if there is one thing that i could change about me then it would be to make me straight. i mean i love my bf to pieces and always will do, but society brings us up with being straight as being normal. and anything outside of that is not normal.

i think that at the end of the day you're still young and like blackroses2989 said only time will tell. but i guess for now all you can do is go along with it. i mean if you're straight, bi or gay, then it doesnt matter. whatever you feel the most comfortable with. all you can do is go along with it and if this attraction for guys goes away then it does. if it doesnt it doesnt. just be yourself and go with the flow of your own mind. take care and all the best either way.

oh and also dont think for one second that you're friends and family will think any less of you just because you may be gay. (dont tell them unless you are absolutely sure by the way!!) but i mean dont worry about that side of things. all the best...

jpmcveigh

xx

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A female reader, blackroses2989 United States +, writes (24 November 2008):

blackroses2989 agony auntSweetheart. Honey no, you dont just become gay, youre born with these feelings, but as you grow it may seem like you are becoming gay. lol youre not. Youre also only fourteen so it could be curiosity. For now just stick with bisexual, until you have actually "done the deed" with man and liked it and then did the deed wit ha woman and did not like it, you are still bisexual, and you may not even be bi sexual, just bi curious. The difference is this when you are bisexual you like both sexes plain and simple, bi curious is when you are attracted mainly to one sex but are curious to try it with another sex. Either way though, no one can tell you if you are gay or bisexual only you can do that and believe me sweetie you will know if u are. I'm bisexual and I had always loved men until I had a woman. It was simply bliss. You just have ot find out whats right for you and never let anyone tell you how ot live okay? Just be happy sweetie dont fret too much, only time will tell, good luck.

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