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Is this guy playing me? Or what?

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Question - (24 March 2009) 7 Answers - (Newest, 24 March 2009)
A female United States age 30-35, anonymous writes:

hey people..can you help me with this please..

My question is, is this guy playing me?

Basically, have known him for a couple of years, liked him for all of it...but it is only recently that he has come to find this out. We were at a houseparty when one of my friends told him (I was happy she told him, im not an obvs flirter and wanted him to kno) he basically never gave an opinion on the whole situation, and said I was more like a friend at the moment (a good sign 'moment'?)

still txt though, and like we share looks- if you get me?

I dont kno..we're both shy..

and im loosing hope in myself..

i dont get boys!

View related questions: flirt, shy

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A reader, anonymous, writes (24 March 2009):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

u guys are right..

its just, i have such low self esteem..and everyone hs partners and its just rubbish..

i guess i'll get over it eventually..

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A female reader, Nico-La-Yo United Kingdom +, writes (24 March 2009):

I don't want to ruin your hopes, but I think he's probably just never genuinely seen you in that way. I think go out meet other nice guys, you might be better just as friends anyway I've found that about lots of guys I've liked they've made better friends once we've done stuff and gotten the sex element out of the way.

You don't want to get boys, a lot of them are bastards, you've just got to find the ok ones!

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (24 March 2009):

Assuming this guy is about your age, he probably doesn't have the experience or skill or confidence to be open with his feelings.

I wouldn't leave it up to this fellow to make a move if he hasn't already. It is probably up to you to decide whether you like him enough to put yourself out there and tell him you are interested, or at least send some more substantial signals than you are.

From my perspective, you will gain a lot of confidence just by seeing someone you like, and saying, "hey, I'd like to get to know you better and see if there's some potential between us." You shouldn't approach dating with the mindset that this one person is the only person for you and the whole universe will collapse if he rejects you. So what?

You are young, he is young and you should date (*not sleep with*) lots of different people. You will learn so much about yourself and what you want and how to handle relationships. Keep your standards unshakably high! Good luck and remember that your confidence in your own worth is what attracts people to you.

Approach him thinking to yourself, " I am the best girl that could ever happen to this guy, and if he doesn't see it, he isn't worth a nanosecond of my valuable time on Earth."

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A reader, anonymous, writes (24 March 2009):

He's not playing you, he hasn't given you mixed signals. That was his polite way of telling you he only sees you as a friend, ONLY. Don't bring it up again, that will only make things uncomfortable. Just move on, he's not interested.

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A female reader, ilovebowsandcherries United Kingdom +, writes (24 March 2009):

ilovebowsandcherries agony auntnot alot of people get guys lol hun if you want to know then just tell him in a text how you feel if your too shy to do it in person

and see how he feels.

tell him you've liked him for ages and take it from there other wise you'll never know how he feels and you may miss out on a chance with him

hope this helps

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A male reader, CrazyMind United Kingdom +, writes (24 March 2009):

CrazyMind agony auntI can't say if he's playing you or not; but there's one way to find out. Somebody has to be the first to make a move.

Try asking him if he'd like to go for a coffee or something sometime - there's no harm in friends going out for a coffee. If he says he's busy, ask him for a time he's not busy.

If he says yes, then great. See how things from from there; and be ready to accept that maybe he doesn't like you in the same way.

If you don't set your hopes too high, you won't be hurt as much. Equally, be sure of what you want; hopefully if things don't work out, you can still be friends. There's always the future...

Best of luck;

Crazy.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (24 March 2009):

I'm not sure the term is "playing". I mean you two aren't even involved. You're just not sure whether he likes you or not. The way you find out is, make a move.

If he responds positively, then you have your answer, if he doesn't, then you have your answer too. If he is "ambiguous", then he probably is not interested and doesn't want to hurt your feelings.

Only way to know unless you ask him yourself.

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