A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi,I've been in friendship with this guy for long 6 years now. There was a time when I had crush on him and later he said he too felt the same. But Let me tell you;this guy quite egoistic, bit short tempered, little bit mean, self-centred and dominant. So there were times our friendship use to be in trouble. He always blames me for that. In past he even asked me to be his girlfriend, but I said no cause at that time loved some else genuinely, but the love was just one sided as the guy whom I loved didnt love me back and my friend knew about it . I kept our relation only till friendship. Even though we were friends we sometimes act as if we were couples thats because we were infatuated to each other. And I used to flirt with him a lot. well I even used to flirt with other guys too. But we were very close enough. Recently he got married and so I limited myself to him. I already stopped flirting with him, neither I fight a lot now. I dont do any such thing that would look odd in front of his wife. But then this guy keeps on teasing me in front of others or his wife that "this girl was behind me, she always flirted with me and now that I'm married she have no chance and she is coward and If she dare to flirt with me or say anything bad my wife is going to shout her down" But when we both are alone he tries to flirt back to me. I dont respond to it much. In fact I told him to stop behaving like we used to be in our college days. And then when he plays like this teasing me in front of others it makes me angry. And i couldn't do anything rather than just sit there and give fake smile. It makes me feel that I'm a unnecessarily victimized. I couldn't give out my anger because if I do that to him and then he say "you so childish, you dont understand jokes so stupid" but somewhere I feel he is taunting me in a form of joke. I don't know why is he doing this. Is he trying to show me off to make me feel jealous or something or anything else. Whatever it is I'm not appreciating at all.
View related questions:
crush, flirt, jealous, teasing Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 June 2016): Why are you complaining? You subject yourself to all his foolishness by remaining a friend. He's a married-man now, and told you his wife will shout you down if you give him grief. What are you holding on for?
Delete him from your life, shove his memory into the past, and move on. You have no justified reason to complain about a now married-man, who has treated you badly for six years. Use logic and don't allow your emotions to override your common-sense. Bad man...let him go! That's what reason should be telling you. He is no longer a friend, and sounds more like an enemy. He's mean and spiteful, and has a razor tongue. Your sadistic friendship sounds too unhealthy.
You shouldn't be receptive to his flirtations and should block his calls. Change your number. Ignore his existence.
You have no friendship, it's an addiction to a bad cycle in your life. It keeps you preoccupied with drama; but it serves no useful purpose, and does not enrich your life in any way. Concentrate on your own love-life and developing a new social-life and support-system. Find yourself people you can appreciate as friends; and will do the same in return. Friends are supposed to bring you joy, not grief.
He's his wife's problem to deal with now. Not yours!
That's simple logic.
A
female
reader, Honeypie  + ♥, writes (5 June 2016):
 Cut him off. I mean really WHAT do you get out of this "friendship"? It seems to me that that he keeps you around for his own benefit with disregard to you AND his wife.
And yes, he is being abusive and when you call him in it... he calls it a joke and then abuse you some more for not "getting" the joke. Here is the truth though... a JOKE is supposed to be funny. Not hurtful. It's SO easy to hide behind a "joke" for him because HE is a coward.
Simply tell him, good luck with your life, I don't feel this friendship is healthy or any good so I'm going to block you. I don't deserve your crap.
And then you BLOCK him on everything. You don't OWE him ANYTHING.
IT IS OK for you to set boundaries and saying enough is enough.
...............................
|
