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Is this boy ignoring me, or does he just want sex?

Tagged as: Sex, Teenage<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (21 July 2014) 4 Answers - (Newest, 24 July 2014)
A female United States age 26-29, anonymous writes:

This guy messaged me about a week or two ago. We'll call him "Isaac." "Isaac" and I went to middle school together, and he's two years younger than me. He is about to be a sophomore and I'm about to be a senior. When we were in middle school, I came out to my friends as bisexual, and I got a lot of s*** for it.

Fast forward to a week or two when he messaged me on Facebook. He said, "Hey ______, from what I can remember last, you were getting a lot of heat for coming out. I just wanted to ask how you were doing." Sweet, right? Of course. I said, "This is really sweet. I'm doing much better now. How are you?" Conversation went on, and he started asking me questions about what it's like to be with women. It felt like middle school all over again. He asked me stuff like, is it the same as porn, have I had sex, do I masturbate, etc. He asked how my summer was going, I said great and asked how his was going, no response.

Fast forward to Friday night at around 11:30/12-ish. He sends me this message that says, "I love you." I said, "Did you mean to send this to me?" He said, "Yes." He said he had been thinking about me a lot, he wished I was there in bed with him, he thinks I'm very attractive, things like that. "Isaac" also asked me if I had a car and when we could hang out. He confessed to me that he wasn't just being sweet to mess with me, and he really wanted to talk to me. I most certainly thought what he was saying was genuine, and I liked the vibe he was giving me. He asked if we could be "no strings attached," and I said that I don't have sex without commitment. He said he'd love to be my boyfriend, and I said I'd think about it. He asked for my number, I gave it, and we said good night.

Saturday night he texted me. We pretty much sexted. He sent me a pic, I sent him some pictures, he was sweet to me and told me how much he cares for me and wants to spend time with me. We had phone sex (talking). Before the pics and stuff, I told him that I wanted to talk a little more before doing any of this. In the middle of our phone conversation, he had to leave abruptly. It was cool, I thought his mom might have called him or something.

We didn't text for the rest of the night. The next morning, Sunday, I sent him a good morning text. It's Monday morning, and I've heard nothing.

"Isaac" seems like a really sweet guy, and he seems like he cares, but do you think he just got what he wanted and he's done? Do you think he's interested in getting to know me at all? I'm starting to like me, but he's leaving me hanging. How long should I give him before messaging him? Is he just being fickle?

View related questions: facebook, phone sex, porn, text

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (24 July 2014):

It's pretty obvious that he's only in it for the sex. I mean all the emphasis is on that! Wake up, he's not this kind genuine caring guy you're making him out to be in your head, he's immature and horny and probably gunning for a threesome. If you want that fair enough if you want to wait for someone who likes you mentally and not just physically then wait and move on from this guy.

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A female reader, Angora998 United States +, writes (24 July 2014):

Until he takes you out in a public place, on an actual date or two ... he's looking to hook-up

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A female reader, So_Very_Confused United States +, writes (22 July 2014):

So_Very_Confused agony auntHe is only interested in sex... IGNORE HIM.

clue one... boys (and girls) that respect you will NOT want to talk about sex right away..... big huge RED FLAG.

if all he ever does it text you or message you on FB and ask about sexual things... it's clear to me that there is only one thing on his mind... getting his penis in something warm and wet....

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (22 July 2014):

Honeypie agony auntI think BOTH of you are jumping the gun. You are already getting "sexual" even if it's over the phone/text. You are giving him details that he doesn't NEED in order to get to know you. And details that CAN come back to bite you in the ass if he turns out to be LESS than "sweet".

If I were you I'd stop with the sex talk, the sexy pics and anything regarding sex. TAKE the time to GET to know him if you are interested, DATE him.

He said, I love you in hopes that you would drop your panties. Sorry to be blunt here. You played right into his hands with the sexting and so forth.

He doesn't LOVE you. Because he really DOESN'T know you. Someone you text (even if it is a lot) and chat over FB with IS not someone you really know, you know what they WANT you to see/hear.

And who knows? maybe he got caught with the phone ? I have to say if you were my 16 year old daughter doing what you're doing, I'd "preach" caution. Heck I might even cut your phone for a while.

Don't be so eager to please a guy. Just because he was "nice" to you.

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